goob 🐀

anti chiropractor ☠️
1% evil, 99% hot gas /she/her/
♎♍♉

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

I'm going to lead a dead horse to water and beat it

[ant @acidforants]

Just Kill Me January is almost over—thank goodness! unfortunately, Fuck My Life February is right around the corner

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

I get enough sleep on a Sunday night: impossible challenge

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

Telling my kids Jojo Siwa and Amy Schumer are the same person

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

@hypnoterror amazing. I should have asked the board before I tweeted this smh.

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

brat summer, twilight saga fall, wuthering heights winter, and some other fourth thing

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

Today, one of my students told me, "You can't believe things are just perfect. You have to have a problem."
😳😳😳
Sorry....what??!

[غنيمة آكلى لحوم البشر @verybasedboy]

She didn't rave
He couldn't read
Could I make it any more obvious

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

Hey Ya by OutKast might be the best song ever invented

[Kirsty @DoodlebopsH8Acc]

Happy April Fools Day to all the men who have fumbled me. For you guys every day is Fools Day. May God smite you

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Roelof Knol is a media artist and developer, mainly working with projection mapping to create visual or augmented reality interactive projected effects, like this interactive entertainment for cats.

[KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity..) @horse_feedbag]

Everything runs out at once. You are knocked breathlessly to the ground by having to replace laundry detergent. You are out of spinach. No:..no you’re out of hand soap…. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. You are out of olive oil. When your house of cards stood tall did you feel strong

[TC | Conflictus @DarthConflictus]

@AltHistCody

[goob 🐀 @virgonamoon]

I feel like no one blows bubbles with their gum anymore, and that's on American decline

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

“yeah bro i only need 4 hours of sleep a night, i’m fine”

[🤍skin 𖣐 destroyer🦴 @gloomingly]

Saw traps would have zero effect on me. every day is torture

[🤍skin 𖣐 destroyer🦴 @gloomingly]

speak now or forever cope and seethe