i'm a femme because i am a working class feminine lesbian whose femininity is not for the male gaze. you're a "femme" because you're feminine and want to be included.
“i had a boyfriend who told me i’d never succeed, never be nominated for a grammy, never have a hit song & that he hoped i’d fail. i said to him “someday, when we’re not together, u wont be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing / seeing me” - lady gaga