Vivvaughn

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[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

Every cups a bitch cup if you’re the bitch

[soogsx @soogz1]

crazy how dudes can hold back tears for a lifetime but cum in 30 seconds

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

before covid, I could be choking and no one would bat an eye, but now I clear my throat and everyone within 20 feet runs away. At least elevator rides are way more interesting now.

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

I’ll never know your touch again, but you won’t be able to admire my novelty coin collection anymore, so I think we’re even

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

be baby bees. baby bees be(come) bees, busy bees!

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

there are 170,000 english words in current use, 7,000 languages globally, 8 types of nonverbal communication, and 256 ascii characters, and I could never put enough of them together to describe my absolute disgust of balsamic vinegar - I hate it and you if you disagree

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

for every 9 dentists that recommend flossing twice a day, there’s a dentist who doesn’t even suggest brushing at all, your teeth need to pull themselves up by the toothstraps

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

“You got a rubber?”
- Two English people solve a crossword together
- The bouncer of an exclusive bathing club with duck identification
- sex

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

cause and affect relationship always make me emotional

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

you’re*

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

there are people out their that don’t know the difference between too and to

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

@The_Best_Guy411 That’s a hell of a power move though

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

For real though, do people actually stand to wipe? are you okay?

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

@camisasham please tell me you’re fucking with me. Don’t do this to me Cam

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

@noor_7_7 this is a SAD day

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

me, a MAN, doing LAUNDRY, accidentally mixing COLORS AND WHITES, turning all my clothes PINK, and my mommy ANGRY, so she won’t give me TENDIES for dinner

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

too fast too furious
- 3 points on your license

to fast to furious
- Saving the last slice of pizza only to find someone else ate it

too fast to furious
- Vin Diesel gets over anger management issues by joining a spin class

to fast too furious
- hunger striking out of spite

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

this was an agenda post

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

lightning strikes and black lightning riots

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

Shit guys, the sun already set, how are we supposed to save it now

[Vivvaughn @vivvaughn]

You’re a fully grown adult with a peanut allergy? grow up