VJ

unsullied by sponsorships since 1995 || Comic

[VJ @vjaymon]

Vibes
#GalaxyZFold5 #newmusic #synthpop

[VJ @vjaymon]

@iamjohnoliver thanks for a great laugh and horrible lighting

[VJ @vjaymon]

Bet Chris Nolan’s #Oppenheimer end credits have J-Pop 🎵

[VJ @vjaymon]

I’d be a young and fertile @ConanOBrien

[VJ @vjaymon]

@CitiBikeNYC @Citi Ridiculous. Not ONE??? #nyc

[VJ @vjaymon]

The Fact That People Can Just Buy A Fish Without A Background Check Is Crazy

[VJ @vjaymon]

I don’t have a drivers license.
Just permission from my mom.

[VJ @vjaymon]

Don’t care how bad the relationship is, I REFUSE to call a radio station for advice.

[VJ @vjaymon]

Hate being called racial slurs in different languages… I don’t know what they’re saying!
I was called a Nigger by a butterfly and didn’t know it until I took duolingo three weeks later.

[VJ @vjaymon]

Shout Out To Having Two Mom’s!

Not in a gay way, in an adopted way
#MothersDay

[VJ @vjaymon]

“Monday” Comes from the Greek word “ex-girlfriend”

That’s why it’s a bitch.

[VJ @vjaymon]

Comedians, let’s get together and make mental illness an NFT.

[VJ @vjaymon]

I don’t speak my sins at Confession anymore. The Citizens App shows them in greater detail than I can recall.

[VJ @vjaymon]

I’ve been VJ The New Yorker for 9 years.
But when the statute of limitations is up i can be DR. VJ The New Yorker again!

[VJ @vjaymon]

I’m SO New York… my apartment number is ‘basement’

[VJ @vjaymon]

At Fine Wine Tastings I Ask The Sommelier, “Can Negros Drink This?”

[VJ @vjaymon]

I Work At Summer Camps For Young Kids. I Was Demoted To Camp Counselor From Time Share Salesman. And I Was SO CLOSE To Closing The Deal On 420 Sesame Street.

[VJ @vjaymon]

I Love Going To Family Yard Sales! I Search For The Smallest Pair Of Children’s Shoes They Have And Ask, “How’d This One Die?”

[VJ @vjaymon]

Taking multiple first dates to the same bar is not a scumbag move,
IF it’s to prove you’re a consistently good tipper!

Now let’s split this check. 🚩

[VJ @vjaymon]

@analogue Still don’t have a pocket to play on. Love the customer service you give to your day one preOrder customers.