swaggot

[kart @strawbrryk8]

when i was a kid i would end every sentence with “For me to poop on” and my mom beat the shit out of me cuz of it

[xavier @nahimdifferent]

why do feet niggas never talk about playing footsy or sum they go straight to the dark arts

[swaggot @voidiscool_]

@poo76252 the perk right under it is so much more busted

[swaggot @voidiscool_]

@LardofSith @GuapoGary_ damage is straight butt cheeks but it still works like a normal doddge and can be used in the air so its pretty decent

[naturgeschichtliche @la_leere]

guy at the bus stop said "trans rights" to me so i smiled and nodded and clearly this was not satisfactory so he said "I said trans rights" and raised his fist in some kinda power salute. I was caught off guard and bowed chinese-style. Im not sure why i did that

[turbomander @turbomander]

me: you’re…divorcing me? but why?
my stupid fucking idiot bitch of a wife who can read these captions: SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN

[turbomander @turbomander]

okay so first of all it’s not “premature ejaculation” its called emergent gameplay and you should really appreciate that your agency as a player was rewarded dynamically in a way that ensures no two experiences are ever exactly alike

[swaggot @voidiscool_]

@ay__Mikey @Ham100000000 the roll you want for mint is the leftmost one btw!!!

[swaggot @voidiscool_]

@ay__Mikey @Ham100000000 in the portal tab you will have a little area that has weekly and daily challenges and also some contracts by doing those you unlock tokens you use to buy this and some tier 5 armour

[swaggot @voidiscool_]

@voidsentflame how do you see this?

[storkii | DELTARUNE TOMORROW @storkiiofficial]

someone get that rotting fat ass off my timeline bro i don’t wanna see it

[audrey @phlegmme]

My flop son is reheating his dead older brother’s nachos

[mark @lowbob_soypants]

told the mall santa i want his soft hands on my body for christmas and he started attacking me with a switchblade

[swaggot @voidiscool_]

@SoraFaust @oopieeee @PlayOverwatch I got that from a loot box so I dont think its rare rn

[caroline :) @soonrightaway]

does DJ Akademiks actually do any DJing or does he just fellate Drake and rape women

[Lᴇᴅ Iᴄᴀʀᴜs @SteveJMcInally]

@soonrightaway In his case DJ stands for Dick Jockey, the only thing he has in common with a record is that he sits on it and spins.

[sarah @sandwichlover7]

I’m on top. I take off my bra. 5 pieces of popcorn fall out. We eat 4 and fall asleep. In the morning we find the 5th and you smile and say “im going to hold on to this.”
When you’re in the bathroom, I eat it.

[eggnog @sdhgsdlfighs]

my dick big as fuck i think im hung hung hung sahur

[sarّ @saturn3tar]

Was what we had real or cake

[Errai @errai]

(stuck in a time loop) Sweetie, I’ve lived this day hundreds of times. Look, that guy is gonna sneeze (doesn’t happen) ok this must be the beta timeline, so that car is gonna run a red light (doesn’t happen) (getting desperate, switching to my Yoda voice) Trust me here you must