Maybe: Victoria

[☔ @Whotfismick]

how it feels trying not to tell someone what i’ve bought them as a present

[jynx @miiagarro]

"what's your blood type?"

idk, boiling.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

[wine tasting]: Yep. That's wine.

[user @user84829272]

Basic Costco members should not be allowed to look Executive Members in the eyes

[Russian Princess @trustfundwife]

Everyone is always like “What do you do?” And I’m like I look beautiful at dinner?

[kate @ilyktlyn]

jalapeno kettle chips i love u

[mitra @mitrajoy_]

you actually won’t get an upset stomach from taco bell if you’re pure of heart and have good intentions

[aubrey @aubreybell]

I’m down for whatever as long as it doesn’t increase shareholder value

[Rebel @rebelhzaura]

you're in her dms, i'm in the passenger seat of her car. she is parallel parking. i have been here for 30 minutes

[kendall @internetfairie]

stop bothering me or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people but I can tell you are not yet aware of

[ً @cryst6ls]

i hate when my coworker talks to me while im on break https://t.co/tyMorVI0Vw

[Maybe: Victoria @vswaggiee]

people who should not have another coffee: “hmmm maybe I’ll have another coffee”

[🌸🌺🌼🌹 @mcarv_s]

saying summer is over on august 25 is an indicator of a quitter’s mindset and indoctrination by big halloween

[Maybe: Victoria @vswaggiee]

Do you think I can buy the shoes that were thrown at George bush?

[disgraced congressman @jon4hry4n]

stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they've killed my spirit

[Maybe: Victoria @vswaggiee]

@AmericanAir

[Maybe: Victoria @vswaggiee]

Flying American Airlines internationally is like being on an overpriced 10 hour long Spirit flight

[dinosaur @dinosaurs1969]

look at my coworkers dawgg we aint getting shyt done 😭💔