Evan Wade

Content writer: Technology, healthcare, law enforcement. Other good stuff. RTs/likes not necessarily endorsements.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Hey @FiveGuys: By putting a tip field in the self-service store pickup option on your online ordering, you're creating an expectation that I should have to spend 15%+ over menu even though I'm picking the food up etc. Won't be ordering from you again til that's gone.

[Adam Wren @adamwren]

Eli Lilly and Co.—among Indiana’s largest employers—on the state’s new near-total abortion ban: “Given this new law, we will be forced to plan for more employment growth outside our home state.”

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Sovereign citizen: a person who thinks they can make up rules on the spot because they lack reading comprehension and think all real laws are gibberish too

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@nathanfielder: One ep in and The Rehearsal is immediately among my favorite TV shows of all time. Another two or three eps like that and you overtake BoJack and The Wire.

I deeply respect your work as an artist and felt a need to express it. Thanks for enriching my life, sir.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@Nekrogoblikon Love the new album! Come see us in Oklahoma!

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@capcom_official I am really impressed by your decision to up base salaries for your employees and will be sure to check out more of your games in the future because of it.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@BenningtonShow my friend Blake says the eels have tiny dicks and are embarrassed to be seen. That's why scientists can't see them mate or sex them without cutting them open.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@tameimpala I made this for u https://t.co/jN5aHnn47I

[Newegg @Newegg]

Enter our Gamer Trifecta Giveaway for a chance to win this dream gaming package - an @IntelGaming Core i9 @NVIDIAGeForce RTX 3080 powered @GIGABYTEUSA Aero 15 gaming laptop, a Microsoft Xbox Series X, a PS5 bundle, and gear from @LogitechG. Ends 8/30.
https://t.co/BCVH4188fP

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@BandofNOTHING just found out yall are playing OKC in a couple months and I am PUMPED. Get a temporary med card in order before you guys come and I'd be honored to hook you all up with a zip of my homegrow if that's something you are into.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Dear @Housemarque: I beat Returnal. Easily the best PS5 game I've played and a top-five all-time game for me. Thank you very much for making it.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@Lendio I REALLY wish you'd have assigned me another loan processor besides @Ready_Capital

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@Ready_Capital My app is 13 days past approval and still no money. Second time dealing with your company's chronic mismanagement. Can I PLEASE get an update on when I can expect the cash I was approved for and which I was told I would have at most two days ago. Thanks.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Hey @jalenbrunson1, I am reactivating my Twitter to say thank you for such an exciting fourth quarter last night. So thanks. You and THJ had me waking the neighbors up I was yelling so loud.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Queensryche owns.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

HOLY CRAP A NEW VIDEO FROM THE DOG POLICE HAS SURFACED ONLINE

https://t.co/FC0GhIhlO5

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Listen to the lyrics here. Really listen. This is not a funny story about a wreck. It is the testimony of a soulless, abusive psychic vampire who longs for a socially acceptable chance to cause a woman serious injury.

|https://t.co/RWXF0pNpsZ

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Thanks to @Carmel_Police for their prompt (VERY prompt... like >5min) response to my so-small-it's-almost-not-worth-calling-for nuisance and to the responding officer himself, who was super courteous and helpful despite the small-potatoes complaint.

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

@mattsinger Ready To Rumble starring David Arquette. Only movie
I've ever walked out of and I can still remember the scene: A semi hauling toilet paper hitting a full septic semi and one of the characters saying something to the effect of "what are the odds of that happening?"

[Evan Wade @wadefreelance]

Another Evan with a... not-so-firm grasp of email address exclusivity keeps getting stuff sent to me. I started a HUGE fight among his family by levying cryptic accusations against his uncle back in 2007... today, I ended his volunteer gig for him