Waites Laseter

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"Well I didn't know there was a parade, so I took off my pants & went"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"If I wasn't in love I'd suck the 401k out of him"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"I feel like if I show up to work hungover there's always some sort of extra cosmic punishment"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"You look really cute riding bitch like that"
"That's what I do, I'm a bar back"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"All my ex-boyfriend's have all my dicks"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"Actually, it's a 13 year old singing with a mouth full of raisins, you'd like that...
Wait, I want a massage, it's my birthday"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"It's so hot, my clit is sweating"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"How are you still alive?!"
"Tequila & whale bones"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"Indiana Jones on ketamine. WHOLE DIFFERENT MOVIE!!!"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"Shit I love corn"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"I've got butterflies where my cobwebs were"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"So I've got this client up outside Athens. He's got a grave digging company. So I drive up there to bring him a bag of onions, & then I got some barbecue..."
"I'm sorry, rewind. Onions?"
"Well yeah. I bring all my clients bags of onions. Well, only the big ones"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"Sadie, that looks like a yoga pose"
"Yeah, it's called downward spiral"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"I don't wanna fight, I've got too many screws in my body"
"... I've got too much cocaine in my bra"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"I've got nerve damage in my hips, I'm doing what a lady's supposed to"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"I'm gonna go take my jazz lesson 😈"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"Do you know why I don't have pets? If I had animals, I'd have an ass-load of spiders!"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

Late 30s on the Edge of Seventeen

[Waites Laseter @waites]

"The biggest shadow is under the light"

[Waites Laseter @waites]

Concept: Racoon as a gentrifier