Katherine Vondy

Writer/director/napper. Equally as fun as a barrel of monkeys.

[faberllull @faberllull]

L'escriptora 🇺🇸 @walkingdeadpan es troba amb l'alumnat dels nivells superiors a @EOIOlot per parlar de #Hollywood, l'època daurada del 📽️ i les semblances i diferències amb el moment actual #residènciaindividual #escriptura

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

I never feel more useful than when I’m at a coffee shop and someone asks me to watch their computer while they go to the bathroom. WHAT A RELIEF I’M NOT A TOTAL WASTE OF ORGANIC MATTER

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

I wrote a new play and @The_Vagrancy is producing a reading of it on Friday! If you’re in LA, I’d love to see you there. Tix here: https://t.co/sgwTd3RvEN

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

I used to think I’d like to get married to the JURASSIC PARK theme music but now I think I’d like to get married to the SUCCESSION theme music

I’m fine, why do you ask?

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

The first rule of coffee shops is we don’t talk about coffee shops. The second rule is that nobody sitting next to an electrical outlet will actually need or use an electrical outlet.

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

Today I voted YES

on spending the afternoon working on my new play because the other choice was to get depressed about everything else

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

not enough people have listened to that song about how 🎶you can’t always get what you want 🎶

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

who else’s job is just trying to get other people to do their jobs

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

I wish I had the flexibility to only be held accountable to the laws I made for myself, but that’s a luxury we only offer to health insurance companies.

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

Just a Phyllis looking for her Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

Some people are assholes, but one of the guys working at the Silverlake Whole Foods noticed that my lettuce fell out of my bag and ran out to the parking lot after me to return it to me. Whoever he is, he is my #1 person today.

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

@jamesthetang Samesies

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

There is a direct relationship between how much I am required to needlessly be in the office and how much dumb stuff I want to buy to distract me from my unhappiness and this is how capitalism is ruining me

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

Know who doesn’t have impostor syndrome? Impostors

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

In need of 15 min. of reading material? Check out my new short story, “The Patrol,” in @FjordsReview! https://t.co/IosDV3O9uZ

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

did u know: you can use leftover buttermilk cornbread to make a kickass grilled cheese

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

this book could’ve been a meme

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

@prillsofwisdom @KickTheJan @NewPlayX @KenzieInABox @prillsofwisdom you are the best!! Thank you!!!

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

@eriklatshaw Um, I think it’s pretty clear. 🦕 🍆

[Katherine Vondy @walkingdeadpan]

Have the song from “Denver the Last Dinosaur” in my head, which begs the question: what American city was the FIRST dinosaur named after?