wander_brain

I know a lot of things in very shallow levels of depth.
I can probably find a song or movie in reference to any situation.
I speak memes.

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

@ThreeUKSupport I was on a live chat and the person just left after making me reset my box, and now I've been on hold for 41 minutes to talk to someone about my internet suddenly dying. I have no choice but to WFH. What is going ON with your service ??? What more can I do ??

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

I already bought tickets to two London shows next year. I might have lost a couple hundred pounds with my EXTREME OPTIMISM.

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

I'm so awake I just used dry shampoo as deodorant. Will I die from dry shampoo misuse ?? Stay tuned. #fail #morningfail #famouslastwords

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

I just rinsed the ice cubes of my finished iced coffee to reuse them in water, so that I don't run out of ice cubes #heatwaveuk #smort #lifehack #recycled

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Starfishing in bed is now acceptable and even recommended #heatwaveuk

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Aggressively hmm-hmm-ing a great song because I've got a face mask on that crumbles off when it dries... #FirstWorldProblems

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

The waitress gave me a white coffee instead of a black one. I drink it black, but I don't mind white. I keep it. Then I think : WHAT IF, the man of my dream walks in and has some trauma with people drinking white coffee. #wtfbrain

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Hello. I'm having coffee while watching videos of people petting wolves. How is your morning going ?

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Watching #DarkNetflix, reached the end of season 1 like

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Was brought up so polite (when interacting with people I don't know) that I say 'thank you' for characters in movies when they forget to say it to other characters.

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

I just realised me saying to myself "No, you can only open your new laptop AFTER work" is the grown up equivalent of "No, you can only have desert AFTER you finish your broccoli" 🥺 #temptation #iamstrong #NO

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Seriously, what do you guys use to scrape food off the spatula ?? Isn't that defeating the purpose of the spatula ? Is there... A spatula for spatula ? When does it end ??? #existentialquestion #inception #food #spatula

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

I almost never do the last three seconds of an exercise with Chloe 🥺😳⌛ #chloetingchallenge #shame #iamweak

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

@devopsdom Got aligners ... 😆

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Tip: Don't forget to brush your teeth after coffee, ESPECIALLY before you put on a face mask, because I learnt the hard way that coffee breath inside a mask is NOT GREAT 🤢 Or I just discovered that my breath stinks anyway and no one ever mentioned it to me and... Yeah. #hurt

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

I'm watching #demolitionman , they totally had their no touch handshake on POINT. We should do that.

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

@Genesisiliana_ 😆

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Me checking my 'abs' in the mirror after two days of #ChloeTingChallenge

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

@NYCFitforFree Had to share, so that people know they're not alone in the struggle 🥺

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

Am now triggered by the word 'plank'. Say it and I'll spontaneously start crying. #ChloeTingChallenge Day 5.

[wander_brain @wander_brain]

@UberFacts Pucerains, that's how they're called according to Wikipedia. Where did you get Pussies from ??