funny tweet boy

funny tweets for you ungrateful punks

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

For sale
Baby shoes
Fresh as hell

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

J. Jonah Jameson: PARKER!! Get me photos of Spider-Man!

Parker Posey: How did you get this number?

JJJ: That web-head is a menace!

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

The hardest part of climbing the Astro-Crag was encountering the frozen remains of those who didn't survive the journey.

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Enter men's room, see guy who just flushed urinal, but now urinal is overflowing. water everywhere. Then say, "urinal lotta trouble, mister"

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Eating my roast pigeon

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Does The Sandlot take place in the same universe as Frank Herbert's Dune?

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Hi, I'm @kairyssdal and it's time to do the numbers (music starts). I ate seven apples today.

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

General: mr. president, this could mean war. the stakes are enormous.
Trump: mine are bigger.
General: ?
Trump: buy them at sharper image.

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Fun fact: when #morningjoe is angry, he can kill trees with his mind. 🤗

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

One day, you're gonna find out how the hell they made that green ketchup #TuesdayMotivation

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

One day, you will save enough from those Bojangle's paychecks and you're gonna buy your kids back from that bridge troll #TuesdayMotivation

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

No better way to start my day then with #morningjoe and a whiffle ball bat to the head. 😎

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

I'm gonna turn your nipples into nurples #baddirtytalk

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

When my time comes, I hope I die from natural causes. Like getting eaten by a moose. 🦄 (there is no moose emoji)
#TuesdayMotivation

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

#Gotham ??? I've GOT more HAM than I know what to do with! 🐷🐷🐷 lolololololol

but also the Joker murdered my family with a hatchet.

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Canada will be renamed "Ice Michigan" #AsSoonAsIRunThings

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

#AsSoonAsIRunThings robots will take care of vile husbandly duties, leaving me all the time I need to cross-stitch! 🤗

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Whoever came up with those buttery-ass popcorn-flavored jelly beans should be put to death. 😤 #AsSoonAsIRunThings

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Loser In The Sky With Diamonds #TrumpTheBeatles

[funny tweet boy @wassermaniac]

Paperback Ghostwriter #TrumpTheBeatles