maybdwan

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

The in+out in my hometown is so packed every night they have teenagers walking the drive-in queue to take orders and the first thing they say when you roll down your window is, "will you be eating in your car tonight?" Lil dude had me stammering

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@at&t so weird but none of the texts from my friends are coming through like they're getting my texts but im not getting theirs back?! Kindly repair this issue pronto!! Thanks, mary

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@edggde Yessss only 3 more to go

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

I get to keep 1 shitty tshirt w holes in it for each of my 3 year relationships, this is the sacred rule which protects me from sunk cost totality

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@edggde So glad I’m not a car alarm expert

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

Me trying to fit in whether I’m in baltimore or california at this point

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@edggde Took me a long time to accept that ya, you have to put a bunch of water (like at least a cup), also I had to get over not liking bananas for sweetness (texture substantively different if you freeze em) + add nut butter if you want it to be like, a meal that you’re drinking

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@edggde Sounds like peach juice

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

How dare we, as a society, call them ‘JOWLS’ wayyy too accurate of a word. Insult to injury.

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

He tried to engage me about what paisley “means,” but I was too shy (couldn’t think of an answer)

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

There’s a young speed freak in this savers whose thing is just asking all the women how to put on and style different articles of clothing— pretty endearing actually

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

“If there’s no buttons am I just supposed to like pull it on top of me or what??” he’s holding up a tall tee to a non English speaking woman, but she’s smiling, she’s helping him pull it on

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

White noise plot unfurling

[LadyJustFedUp⚖️💙♿️🐈 @Justice314Lady]

People with personal chickens 🐓 in East Palestine are all reporting ALL of their chickens are suddenly deceased. But the RR assures everyone the Plume of Death from the controlled explosion is “perfectly safe” 😱😖

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

I don’t want to be in an open relationship but I would also like to not be solely responsible for another person’s happiness—why are these the only 2 relationship options??

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@lumperslump I had a toaster oven but I think this is the first thing I cooked

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@mattsutaaki Pareidolia is one helluva drug

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

@hipearlrose Are you still here? Im here too!

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

Nah he know every word of jingle bells + he just hates us all

[maybdwan @waterbundle]

Someone on my flight taught their 2 year old the word stupid, and either he doesn’t know any other adjectives or he’s being so mean