Glenn Strange

Clean Comedian/Magician - Specializing in making people laugh.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

A heartfelt thank you to everyone who came out for my Friday and Saturday night shows at Magic On Victoria in Greer, SC!
Your laughter, smiles, and great energy made both nights truly special.
I hope you laughed a lot and went home with happy memories to share with your friends.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

TWO GUYS TALKING: Looks like married life is treating you well; you look much better, and your clothes are neat and wrinkle-free!

Yes, the first thing my wife did after we got married was teach me to iron.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

The wife texts the husband on a frigid February morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”

The husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap the edges with a hammer.”

The wife, 5 minutes later: “Computer is really messed up now!”

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

You can’t always believe everything you hear - but some people will always repeat it.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

“Breathe, man! Breathe!”

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

FUN, CLEAN COMEDY at “Magic on Victoria” a unique, intimate theater located in the heart of Downtown Greer, SC. 7:30 PM show times. I look forward to seeing you there. Limited seating. Tickets available now via the link below.
https://t.co/2M6wvwfF14

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

John's wife was in a car accident with a guy who, at the time, was on his phone and drinking a beer. The police told John that his wife was still at fault because the man could do whatever he wanted in his living room.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

I asked my boss for a raise because I was doing the work of three people. He said he couldn't increase my pay, but if I gave him the names of the three people, he could fire them.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

Two women were talking, and one said, “I married a sailor, and he is away 11 months out of the year.”
“Oh, poor you. Must be difficult.”
“No, one month passes quickly!”

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

Q: How many people work in this office?
A: When the boss is at work, 5.
Q: So, without the boss, only 4?
A: Oh no, without the boss, nobody works.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

I have a dog who gives me unconditional love, but I also have a cat who reminds me I don’t deserve it. It’s a balanced life.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

A frustrated golfer exclaims, “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course!”
His caddie calmly replies, “Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.”

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

When I was at the gym yesterday, people kept asking me why I was always sitting still on the stationary bike.
I’m going downhill. Mind your own business.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

I thought my neighbors were great people.
Then they went and put a password on their Wi-Fi.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently clever fool.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

The husband was in the other room, and the wife was in the kitchen. He hears her: “My dear, what would you like for supper? Fish, chicken, or veal?

” The husband answers. “Chicken, please.”

“You have yesterday’s pizza. I was talking to the cat!”

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

Ever wake up, kiss the person beside you, and feel glad you are alive?
I just did, and apparently, I will not be allowed to fly this airline again.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

Don't spend six dollars to dry-clean a shirt.
Donate it to Goodwill. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Then buy it back for three dollars.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

Husband: What’s for lunch?
Wife: IKEA sandwich.
Husband: What do you mean?
Wife: It’s in the fridge. Assembly required.

[Glenn Strange @waystrange]

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.