k.

37. esq. jewish. lover of 90s music and true crime podcasts. write like i’m running out of time. sit on it, gop. #NeverthelessShePersisted.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

@DavidShuster His lead is down to 165k now.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

It’s 1:39am and @SethMacFarlane is still the best looking man on the planet.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

@creeperspod Thank you for your sensitivity in handling the Adam Walsh case. I’m a lawyer because of @john_walsh and his book, “Tears of Rage.” And BTW you got Revé’s name right. 💜

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Came up on my recommendations in classic 80s movies and all I can think of is @bstolemyremote on @HorrorQueers saying, “Tabitha, does it have a dog? Can I say Cujo? Throw it on the poster!” And then I hear @TracedThurman cackling in my head and my Friday night is complete. 😂

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Listening to @HorrorQueers talk about Crimson Peak and the @StephenKing references are making me hyperventilate. I am deceased. 😂💀

[k. @weallgotbruises]

It’s terrible but all I can think of is ⁦@HorrorQueers⁩ and ⁦@DaxEbaben⁩ talking about “Americans missing Mexico death.” 🤣 https://t.co/dpHBbE49Ns

[k. @weallgotbruises]

My favorite thing @FINALLEVEL has ever said on @lawandordertv: “What, are you planning on gettin’ frisky with the Hamburglar?” I flat out inhaled my (literal) iced tea rewatching that episode. 😂

[k. @weallgotbruises]

@SeanBro46572959 @VenmoSupport I just chatted and they said it’s a system issue that they’re working on right now. It’s affecting all debit card users.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Thanks, @Target and/or @UPS for packaging and delivering my wine glasses so carefully. 🙄 @AskTarget

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Oh, God. It’s finally happened. He’s turned into a full AI bot.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Honestly, @criminalminds should make this season an entirely new series and call it “David Rossi Unchained.” No one drops an F-bomb like @JoeMantegna (see also: Eye For an Eye). #CriminalMindsEvolution

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Nothing will ever feel more like the start of the holidays than watching Miracle on 34th Street with @DylanMcDermott and @MaraWilson. This movie never ceases to make my heart happy even when I’m lonelier than ever.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

How is it possible for @jasonsfolly to be such a lovely person and yet play the most terrifying and atrocious villains? PS I submit that Col. Tavington is more evil and brutal than Lucius Malfoy could ever dream of being.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

@BradleyWhitford The amount of times I’ve had to talk my friends off of ledges on election night because they see red filling the map…

[k. @weallgotbruises]

I used to try to goad @tedcruz into blocking me. Then I switched to reminding @DonaldJTrumpJr that his dad won’t ever love him which hasn’t earned me a block from him, either. But now I guess it’s time to turn toward @elonmusk, which seems like less of a challenge. 🤷‍♀️

[k. @weallgotbruises]

@DonaldJTrumpJr Hey, Junior. I know it’s been a while, but I just wanted to check in and remind you that your dad will never love you. Happy Halloween!

[k. @weallgotbruises]

https://t.co/BnBHKi96DG Dear @taylorswift13: have you been reading my diary? I cried for over a year hoping he’d change, before I walked away. Even at 37, with a successful career and a full life, this hit me as hard as it would at 25. Thank you for giving voice to my hurt.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

The next time some GOP member complains about how celebs should stay out of politics, remind them that the following celebs were in politics and also Republicans: Reagan. Omarosa. Sonny Bono. Arnold. Jesse Ventura. Dr Oz. Caitlin Jenner.

We have Al Franken and Clay Aiken.

[k. @weallgotbruises]

All I really want in life is a man who has a voice like @SethMacFarlane. And by that I mean his own, not Peter Griffin’s. 😂

[k. @weallgotbruises]

Dear @bathbodyworks: your assembly/packaging department didn’t understand the assignment.