Amenhotep III, The Magnificent

just a real ass mother fucker, who happens to be the ninth pharaoh of the eighteenth dynasty. staaaaay maaaaaad 💪💯

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

the epic fail of gilgamesh

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

my girlfriend caught me unironically flexing in the mirror should i kill myself?

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

happy wifi happy lifi

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

coming back with fiji braids from my trip to mornington peninsula

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

misspoke and accidentally ordered a crappuccino and the barista dropped trou and unloaded an enormous steaming log in my @fressko keep cup

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

@fairwayleezy my son finding my account someday

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

it kills me knowing yung blood probably has a fucking monster on him

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

The fluid from my brain is leaking outta my butt! i think i need some toiler paper or a lobotomy

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

its all too much sometimes

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

“where am i?” - my girlfriend with alzheimers, whom of which i love dearly

i say “you’re home, with me, your boyfriend”. the words are swallowed by the endless abyss of her mind. they sink deep into some padded cell beneath the thick mud of conscious. consumed by deaf thought.

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

“take me to your wiener” - my alien girlfriend

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

the worst thing about being a little guy is 1. having to go on my tippy toes
2. shivering like a jack russell

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

yeah ive got an eating disorder…

im eating.. dis order of fries my g!

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

flys are so dumb man. if i was a fly i would stay in toilets and fly into an asshole and live inside the colon. straight the source. other flys could never think of that because they are so dumb but not me.

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

im osama bin starving right now babe, i’m so hungry i could eat a 9/11

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

thats all, stokes! @CricketAus

[nick v @falco]

shot a music video for Tricky Mac and Benny T

link below

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

Ask not what acid can do for you, ask what you can do for acid.

[Amenhotep III, The Magnificent @weebennyt]

shakespeare is the joey jordison of literature