eli

#edtwt diary

[eli @weedenjoyer]

the grip this shit has had on my existence since i was like 9. it’s been 15 years of hell but we are so fucking back 🩷

[eli @weedenjoyer]

i’m ngl ever since i saw someone talking about how disordered women are easier to control/manipulate bc they are physically weak and mentally unable to think straight, i’ve been so turned off from my disordered behaviors bc it disgusted me so much that men take advantage of that

[eli @weedenjoyer]

over it. it’s an anticlimactic experience bc i thought recovery would smack me in the face and be this whole big thing, but it honestly just felt like the Normal and Right thing to do, the self-explanatory next step in my journey. i’m glad i’m here though. i was really tired of

[eli @weedenjoyer]

i can’t fast anymore it’s so hard 😭 i stopped gaf too hard and now i can’t lock in 😔

[eli @weedenjoyer]

miss the euphoria of starving and losing so i’m back

[eli @weedenjoyer]

hungry af tho like not even an omad? 😔

[eli @weedenjoyer]

lowkey having nothing to eat at home goes hard this starving shit ez 💯

[eli @weedenjoyer]

bro was overly ambitious

[eli @weedenjoyer]

normal bmi by the end of the week

[eli @weedenjoyer]

normal bmi by the end of the week

[eli @weedenjoyer]

(a day since i logged out y’all know i ain’t lose that much weight overnight 😭😭😭)

[eli @weedenjoyer]

bitch it’s only been a day WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[eli @weedenjoyer]

mkay well that’s my appearance for this month logging out again hopefully when i come back i’m a few more pounds lighter 🤞🏽

[eli @weedenjoyer]

mkay well that’s my appearance for this month logging out again hopefully when i come back i’m a few more pounds lighter 🤞🏽

[eli @weedenjoyer]

i think i might actually have something more going on health-wise bc i don’t think it’s normal for weight to fluctuate as much Or as often as mine does

[eli @weedenjoyer]

sucked in my stomach and for the first time in months i could see my ribs