weird al lyrics

tweeting weird al's absurd lyrics 280 characters or less at a time (dm me your favorite lyrics and i'll tweet them!)

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

then we all just stared at the ball for a while and my eyes got moist,
but i said with a smile, "kids, this here's what America's all about." #TheBiggestBallOfTwineInMinnesota

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

aquarius:
there's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus. fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day!
#YourHoroscopeForToday

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

and i said, "God, please answer me one question? why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this?"
what a drag, 'cause i was taping it and everything! and now i'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show i missed. #WhyDoesThisAlwaysHappenToMe

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

i was watching my tv one night when they broke in with a special report about some devastating earthquake in Peru.
there were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive. on the Richter scale it measured 8.2

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

faces filled with joy and cheer; what a magical time of year! howdy ho! it's Weasel Stomping Day! #WeaselStompingDay

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

i moved out to Langley recently with a plain and simple dream,
want to infiltrate some third world place (whoa), and topple their regime.
#PartyInTheCIA

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

i saw a baby drive a truck, i saw a junkie eat a tuba,
i saw a stripper kiss a duck behind a dumpster in Aruba.
#MyOwnEyes

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

burger king! what's the price for fries?
i'll take the jumbo size! i need fast food tonight!
#BurgerKing

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

you did a really rotten thing, and let Scout take all the blame.
you wrecked his reputation, and left that poor boy in shame.
yeah, but now i think it's time to show who really did the crime.
Kent Marlow, you're a dirty, lyin', worthless hunk of slime.
#TheBalladOfKentMarlow

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

everybody says that you're a nerd, but they should know that you just don't care.
got your Hewlett-Packard on your belt and Vaseline in your hair. #BornToBeMild

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

remember when i told you that i knew Paulie Shore? that's a lie, i don't know what i said that for. #ConfessionsPartIII

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

tell me why'd you have to go and make me so constipated? cause right now i'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated. in the bathroom, i sit & i wait & i strain & i sweat & i clench & i feel the pain, oh, should i take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? #AComplicatedSong

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

sometimes, i really want to be alone, but that's one state i'm never in.
because i know that i've got millions upon millions of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin.
#Germs

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

Gump sat alone on a bench in the park, "my name is Forrest," he'd casually remark.
waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets, he just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates.
#Gump

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

i dated Siamese twins, i slept with Bigfoot, too,
get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue,
'cause i wanna tell the world about it right now.
#TalkSoup

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

the unicorn is just a horse, accepting for its horn, of course.
the unicorn is just a myth, which is to say, they don't exist.
#Unicorn

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

the first one was a sweet one; second one was a blast,
soon i finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast.
you can see 'em in my teeth, tell it when i talk,
had so many, my pancreas just went into shock.
#TheWhiteStuff

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

let me be your hog, let me be your hog, now (snort, snort),
i said baby baby baby baby baby,
baby baby baby baby baby baby.
#LetMeBeYourHog

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

would you look at all that stuff, they've got

allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods & water meters
walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans & dehumidifiers,

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

don't change the channel, don't touch that dial, we got it all on UHF!
kick off your sneakers, stick around for a while, we got it all on UHF!
#UHF

[weird al lyrics @weirdalyrics]

i could tell you a story about the iguana,
but right at the moment i don't really wanna.
#Iguana