Sarah Wise

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

@ktplex I believe the lord is speaking through that child

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

So someone is either close to the house shooting a shotgun, or farther away with a cannon. So I can only assume it is a coyote trying to catch a roadrunner because WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND MAKES THAT MUCH NOISE BEFORE 8 AM?!?!

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

Reasons I can't get back to sleep: 1) my family is having a competition to see who can stomp down the hallway the loudest to a chorus of dogs barking at, one can only assume, absolutely nothing. 2) 1 was enough, there is no 2.

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

I have barely been able to sleep the last few days and if I am to endure a 19 person dinner this Saturday I'm going to need my inner beauty sleep.

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

@ktplex I'm no doctor but if your insides are dead so are your outsides and dead men don't have the capacity for love....because they're dead

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

@ktplex U ok?

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

In the future, when people ask me why I joined the reserves, I will tell them it is because I wanted to fight for every paycheck. That fight is with unit admin and it is never ending.

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

@CowanJGTGaming @ktplex @SMAckerson11 THANK YOU!!!!

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

Thanks to some dumb shit I said that @ktplex tweeted a year ago, I now have to defend why I think pasta is just a soggy cracker to @SMAckerson11

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

@SMAckerson11 @ktplex So closed minded

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

@ktplex Where do I get off saying all this dumb shit?

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

Kp talking to her Boston terrier: would you remember me if I left for a few days?
Me: do you see how big his eyes are?! He doesn't have room in his head for memories!!

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

It's weird that I can be grateful to be in Georgia where it is 21° (it is 17° at home)

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

I got my cold meds and my tea with honey it's party time

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

My roommate's dog is so dumb...but he's cute so it balances out

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

I got my mind on my money and my money quickly draining from my bank account

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

B vitamins for the win

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

My brothers are in town. We are communicating almost exclusively in tv quotes @ktplex

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

If you haven't danced a hearty jig while chanting "chicken in a biscuit cheese in a can" then we are having 2 wildly different nights @ktplex

[Sarah Wise @WeiRuSmash]

"Hold on, I'm choking on a cupcake" @ktplex