30 years ago today, Principal Skinner purchased fast food to disguise as his own cooking at an unforgettable luncheon with Superintendent Chalmers.
#TheSimpsons episode “22 Short Films About Springfield” first aired April 14, 1996. @thatbilloakley@Joshstrangehill
Jim Hacker: Humphrey, we have to do something about Iran.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Prime Minister, the government is already doing a great deal.
Jim Hacker: Such as?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Monitoring developments, coordinating with allies, reviewing contingency plans and expressing concern.
Jim Hacker: That all sounds like nothing, Humphrey.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: On the contrary, Prime Minister. In diplomacy it is vital to appear active without becoming involved.
Jim Hacker: The Americans are bombing things, the Iranians are firing missiles, the Strait of Hormuz is practically closed and we’re… appearing active?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Precisely.
Jim Hacker: Innocent people are dying, Humphrey!
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes, Prime Minister. That is why the Foreign Office is drafting a very strongly worded statement about it.
Jim Hacker: A statement won’t stop a war.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: No, Prime Minister, but it will ensure that we are on record as having been extremely concerned while it was happening.
Bernard Woolley: If I may, Prime Minister — the Cabinet Office has identified six possible courses of action.
Jim Hacker: Good! What are they?
Bernard Woolley: We can condemn the escalation, call for restraint, urge negotiations, support our allies, assist defensive operations or participate directly.
Jim Hacker: And what do they recommend?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Supporting our allies.
Jim Hacker: That sounds suspiciously like participating.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Oh no, Prime Minister. Participating means fighting. Supporting merely means allowing others to fight from places that technically belong to us.
Jim Hacker: Humphrey, if Iranian missiles hit one of our bases, we’ll be in the war anyway!
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes, Prime Minister, but we shall have entered it with the invaluable diplomatic advantage of being surprised.
Bernard Woolley: It’s generally considered the safest way to enter a war, Prime Minister.
Jim Hacker: How on earth can that be safe?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Because if the war goes badly, we can say we never meant to join it. And if it goes well, we can say we were there all along.
Millennials and Gen Z should band together and claim we were never told we would have to pay interest on our student loan
Let’s call ourselves the Young Against Student Payment Inequality (YASPI) and demand billions of pounds from taxpayers
As one of the few people who recognised that Toy Story 4 was actually better than Toy Story 3 this does make me nervous, hoping that they can somehow avoid it being ‘just another one’ because this series has been perfect every time so far
CCHQ apparently chipper tonight, I’m told.
As Tim Davie resigns, they’re “utterly convinced” Susan Hall is being appointed as the BBC’s Director General
The year is 2035. Alan Carr was won a 10th series of Celebrity Traitors. Grand Theft Auto 6 has been delayed until next November. Nigel Farage, now Prime Minister, complains that he gets too much airtime and criticism.