Danny Wallace

Writer & Silly Boy

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

I, too, can only imagine I’ve been banned from Desert Island Discs.

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@Lord_Sugar How long have you lived in Britain, my Lord?

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@ZiaYusufUK Never once felt it. Seen you do it to others, though.

[~ @7why__ydm]

Twitter is such a goated app, it feels like a psych ward with no staff

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@joeroganhq Soccer (football) isn't a talented sport. Because a sport can't be talented. It's a sport, not a child. But the lack of talent involved makes us all wonder why America has never won a World Cup. Surely Dana White could turn up and win it on his own.

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@rickblackman01 @IllegibleMe Fantastic of you both to do - so important to make sure these things live on.

[TheBossRoss 🇪🇺 🧶 ❄ 📷 6x💉 @BettinaSRoss1]

So what happens when Reform take over your local council?

This.

#KentCountyCouncil

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@dsiner10 Still great pals!

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

New episode - in which we come up with names for British monster trucks and we try and imagine what it must be like to be stuck in a 22 minute standing ovation in Cannes.
https://t.co/FkuV8AyAKz

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@NeedMoreCourage That can't be right!

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

How are London's churches going to cope with the massive influx of far right Christians in town today, as their thoughts inevitably turn to where they will worship and sing?

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@Lord_Sugar Pizza cooker

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@mrjameskay I'm going to wait for the next phone-in and get fifty of my mates to text that I'm the only logical choice!

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@frankcottrell_b Still, it keeps you in work.

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

What we crave is an old-school government so boring no-one knows their names. Competent, professional.
But we're led by a story-hungry media desperate for new drama for sponsored podcasts.
If they had their way we'd have a new PM every month, each worse than the last.

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

@luffdee Deb to the rescue! Hope you are well xx

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

If I were Starmer, I'd just ignore it all. Announce some great stuff tomorrow. Crack on.

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

If there is a next Prime Minister this year, which is crazy, then that Prime Minister, whoever it is, will be a disaster trying to please everybody, and then there will be an even worse Prime Minister, and that Prime Minister will do insane things, and we will LONG for these days

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

I think if you can stand up to Donald Trump's America, you can probably ignore a petition.