chloë

i have prosopagnosia

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

yes im a girl yes im having an existential crisis, no we dont exist

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

at what age/life event do i need to turn on autocaps

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

at the LA smoking deaths billboard for new years eve and shaking my head every time the count goes up before it resets at midnight so everyone knows i understand it’s also a solemn event

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

@mothyself @isaachorwitz SORRY BABY!! both the title and my response to you two

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

watched a movie with my boyfriend that, afterwards, made him turn to me and ask me what my pronouns are

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

i try not to fall into the trap of complaining about weather

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

your boyfriend’s birthday is like a mini birthday for u… like, aw thank you thank you.. yes

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

esoteric pronouns NeitherHere/NorThere

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

i’ll respond to Gizmo now if anyone wants to get in on that

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

can i say something

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

sometimes when i tell people i’m working on an a24 show i can feel them trying to kill me with their mind

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

looking at the calendar any weekend oct through dec

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

showing my hair lady pics of me in 2022 for a color ref and she goes “yes, but, you know you will not be her again, yes?”

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

wait do you guys smell that ? it smells like your love written on a blank check, wear it around your neck, I was at a loss
but you come to me on a fault line…

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

my gyno today was elbow deep in my gooch and said “you definitely need more vitamin c” … what horrors did she see. Also she looked at me and guessed “sexually active: both men and women, yes? yeah.”

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

i love breaking the tacit 4th wall in social settings. you address something as awkward or uncouth as its still happening

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

assholes born on leap day love making it everyone’s problem. “i’m turning six😂” you’re TWENTY FOUR. and you’re an asshole

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

instead of eugenics AI should make it possible to see the photos you take in dreams

[TomWalker.bsky.social @tomwalkerisgood]

KOKO: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

telling my friend who’s nervous to have sex w a new guy to tap his penis like a mic and go “is this thing on??”

[chloë @wernerherzhog]

i want to move to la but i want new york to come with me