Alex Werner

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints; the sinners are much more fun

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

The difference between boys and girls is boys fuck things up, and girls are fucked up @Lloydy36x2

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

What do elves drive? Toy Yodas. #ClassicJokeFriday

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@TerryNikoll haha oh that understandable...but come on!!!! You know you won't have nearly as much fun anywhere else!

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@TerryNikoll I will be! What's holding you back?

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@TerryNikoll hey stranger! Are you returning to boulder this year??

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

I'm the guy in short shorts sitting on the sidewalk of KFC, devouring my KFC....I'm completely content with that

[Matt Werner @mattwerner44]

@WernerKnows I just ate mac and cheese #trustworthy

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

You can't trust a human being that doesn't like Mac & cheese. #life

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

#DrunkHistory is probably the greatest show of this decade

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@nataliewerner23 #pacerforlife

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@WizKhallycia haha a good time was had by all

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@WizKhallycia haha the last time I invited you over my place, you stayed for six months!

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

I am about to use a meat cleaver as a spatula. #bachelorpadstatus

[T-Foots @t_foots]

"You drink too much"

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@KittehCait what can I say...Ellen is my favorite and tigers are my second favorite

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@KittehCait bitches be creepinn

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@TheresaKloeker I wouldn't be worried about it for another 19 days or so

[Alex Werner @WernerKnows]

@AngAlmeida92 I can teach you