western unicorn

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

Ah, the two tenders

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

@dox_gay Love ncole mclaughlin i want all of it

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

@dox_gay As an inspirational person im scared now

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

@NaeSimmer The algorithm FINALLY showed me a good tweet today

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

FB is down so now im entertaining myself by watching their stocks plummeting

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

“All dogs go to heaven”
My deceased chihuahua in hell:

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

@HarperRoseD If u sent this to me id be packing the uhaul. Bitch got a bidet and a squatty potty with a foot massager? Chefs kiss

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

Someone from the flavortown group crunched some numbers for you

[Nick Huber @sweatystartup]

$1MM -> $4.48MM.

Your investors are pumped. You made them money too. They want more.

This time you have more capital. So you go out and buy $100MM worth of real estate.

Sell again and clear $15MM this time.

And do it again and again until the world is full of tomatoes.

[piper @cbfplr]

how is this not satire?

[terminally trill @wattsy_GotIt]

Going to bed early a female trait fr

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

@neekolul My ass cheeks are getting so juicy im so scared guys

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

Using neosporin is a female trait

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

Im not ashamed of being a knob polisher im just ashamed of the knobs i have polished

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

Me: *goes to pick up beer*
Madison: “thats my beer”
Me: *goes to pick up other beer*
Madison: “that is also my beer”

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

We are all shitty gay white boys in the eyes of our lord jesus christ amen

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

Freeze day 7: “we can probably make milk from these macadamia nuts...oh there’s only three of them”

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

What if u went to a bar and ordered a rly fancy expensive drink and the bartender put all the ingredients together and mixed it with their finger

[western unicorn @westernunicorn]

The real ice bucket challenge was the friends we made along the way. #TexasFreeze2021

[terminally trill @wattsy_GotIt]

We are all ugly sluts in the eyes of the lord