uncool brocoli

gee whiz

[uncool brocoli @wetsnowman]

@fosterthepeople MISTER SMIMS I JUST SAW YOU IN UTRECHT!!!!!!! I know you saw me too, I was the one on the balcony 😎❣️ (and yes… he really is only 5 apples tall 🥺🫶)

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

every card for Father’s Day being HEY YOU FUCKING ALCOHOLIC LET’S GRAB A BEER 😂😂😂 or WE LOVE YA, FARTY MCFART 😂😂😂

[fluttershy @hwrtyed]

im just someone’s weird sister

[maru is tired 🫩 @marureviere_]

Once again, I love contributing to the declining birth rate.

[🫧 kit kat @thesubwaydemo]

Haven't been able to stop thinking about this edit since I saw it yesterday. Instant classic I fear

[✧Ren0_1000000✧ @RenO_1000000]

Ice cubes on our tongues because we like to keep it freezy

[marty @josephlisgoe]

let rip a fart in the public toilet earlier and some kid went 'daddy im scared of the noise'.

[KFC @KFC_ES]

El próximo trailer de shrek se va a acabar viendo así:

[gays0n @g4ys0n]

*whispering near straight guy’s phone so they get targeted ads* hemming, tailoring, hemmed pants, pants that fit, tailor, tailors near me, how to get pants hemmed

[Wopavelli @TheWopObama]

Taking a shit on the clock at work for so long that I come out and my boss is 20 years older like interstellar and I start crying

[☔ @Whotfismick]

How i feel training older people at work

[vi @vimentality7]

Don’t even F*CKING joke lad…

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

looking that the DVDs on the bottom shelf at the thrift store

[get on the floor #1 fan 💭 @mjchewingum]

me overstimulated asf

[penny @xXMeatGodXx]

are you wiping what im shitting?

[oliwankenobi @oliwankenobi26]

that saying abt there being a gayer person behind every gay person

[DammyAyo💕 @dartgurlie]

"let's hire someone younger, so they know how to use technology"

*Me trying to delete a blank page in word document:

[Madame Rusty @MadameRusty]

Whenever i flirt with someone my vision switches to third person and i look like this