Adrian Wexley

No routines, no lines, no dark psychology. Attraction works for reasons, and the reasons can be taught in order.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

That single change rewrote what a family is for, and everything between a man and a woman has been rearranging itself around it ever since.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

For most of history children paid for themselves. Seven years of cost, then hands in the field, then a household of their own. More children meant a better old age.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Then school took them from seven to eighteen and they stopped producing anything. Families resisted it, and they were not being backward. They were being arithmetical.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

It has to be taught, because the one thing an immature man reliably cannot see is which of his own behaviours are the immature ones.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Maturity does not arrive with age. Plenty of married men with children have not got there, and plenty of old men never did.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

@Geeahmes Dont

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Accountability is not responsibility. Responsibility is being given the job. Accountability is what you do when the job goes wrong and nobody is forcing you to admit it.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Humour is a skill and it takes hours. Once you have it there is a second thing to learn: which kind draws her in, which pushes her off, and which turns you into her entertainment.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

An emoji at the end of a flat sentence does not make it funny. It announces that you know it was not funny and would like credit for trying.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Most women are carrying a tenderness they have waited their whole life to hand to someone. That is not a small thing to be trusted with, and plenty of them never find anyone to give it to.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Nobody is born with it. Watch any child. The first instinct when something breaks is to find whose fault it is. The ones never taught otherwise keep pointing for the rest of their lives.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Hire someone to watch your child and they are responsible. If they look away for a moment and will not say so, they are not accountable. Same situation, two different qualities.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Pet names are not evidence. She can call you every soft thing she knows and mean nothing by any of it. Read what she rearranges her week around, not what she calls you.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Fifty years ago his friends would have mocked him out of it in a week. Now the behaviour gets praised as gentlemanly, and nobody wakes him up.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

Where does the Nice Guy come from? Underneath it is usually one thing. A fear of being turned down so complete that he will do anything rather than risk a moment of not being liked.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

He mistakes compliance for kindness. Endless accommodation, shrinking himself so the other person feels taller. Nobody ever showed him the difference between being kind and being afraid.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

And while it stands, nothing else can be built on that ground. Pulling it down is real work and there is real grief in it. But the heart gets no second shelter until the first one is gone.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

A relationship with history in it is a house. Somewhere to go when the day has been long. Even a ruined one keeps the rain off, which is why it stands so long after it should have come down.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

When she starts telling you about the other men she has been with, you have not earned her trust. You have been reclassified. Confidences are what she gives the men she is not weighing.

[Adrian Wexley @wexleyadrian]

She is not drawn to the fact that you like her. She is drawn to how well you can say it. Interest is common. Interest expressed with craft is not, and that is the part being evaluated.