✖️

TRIGGERING! • mental health problems. • drug & alcohol abuse. • extremely suicidal. • i'll be dead soon. none of this matters. •

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

when you text someone to tell them you feel emotionally & mentally unstable & they instantly call you >>>

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

fuck it, ima just get drunk, cry & probably do something stupid. it’s gonna be a fun night!

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

so my man basically just told me that how i feel is unimportant & why i feel like that is unimportant. i already have trouble telling people how i genuinely feel because i feel like no one cares & that just made it worse.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

but i wanna tell him he hurt me. however, he “doesn’t wanna talk about it, it’s unimportant” like wtf.. seriously.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

@shayscale do you waist train or is your waist naturally like that? omggg once my stomach goes i hope my hourglass is as prominent as yours! i know my hips are naturally (the bone) 10xs wider so i can only hope lol

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

i guess the ‘no self-harm’ clock goes right back to zero.
but now, because i’ve already gone backwards with it.. i feel like continuing.. like what’s the point in stopping? i continued to not self-harm because i was ~4/5 years “clean”. that was the only reason, so why not?

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

tw — self-harm

on the 17th i relapsed with self-harm. although this time, instead of my usual cutting my arms/legs, i ended up burning myself with my rollups (for reasons i don’t wanna go into). i woke up with literal chunks of flesh missing on my arm.. i’m so disappointed 😔

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

maybe kill myself. idk.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

maybe over exercise until i feel dead & can’t breathe properly anymore

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

maybe i’ll just sleep all day

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

all i want right now is to be completely numb.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

i’m so fed up.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

definitely didn’t trigger me or make me relapse. definitely didn’t make me start critically overanalysing my body again. nooo, why would it? thanks love. appreciate it.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

update on my relationship - so my man hates when i say other people are attractive, cute, whatever, right? well, he excited told me that his nurse has the perfect body. he said “if i was to draw or think of the perfect body; it would be hers!”
yup. thanks. i love double standards

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

not to mention i love that i’ve told him several times that i’ve struggled with eating disorders my whole life & i’ve only recently, properly “recovered”.
how absolutely lovely of him.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

not to mention he knows he has narcissistic traits.. i doubt he’ll admit how much of a narcissist he really is tho.
also not to mention i’ve pointed out his abusiveness several times over the year yet it gets ignored like it’s nothing & he just continues.
fun.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

this accurately describes my relationship. for some reason i keep attracting people that fly off the handle extremely easily/over little things & those that are very controlling. but, those are both together in one person both in my current relationship & previous relationship.

[✖️ @whatafatbitch]

ima just pop pills until i don’t feel anything or pass out.