Nate Walsh

funniest account on foursquare, baby!

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

Oh no my invaluable personal brand on twitter

💸

Wait come back

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

@duolingo I WAS MADE CERTAIN PROMISES

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

@CougThoughts @4sqSupport @SwarmApp I'm having the same problem – can I please have my account reinstated, or at least an explanation of what I did wrong?

I've been using the app for over a decade, 30k+ check-ins, tracking my life and mental health and inside jokes; this is honestly kind of devastating to me

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

lol @ this extremely human birthday post from my company's HR site

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

noooo you guys

not Threads

everyone just come back to Foursquare

I mean Swarm

https://t.co/ZJzj5FBo3A

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

they renamed my laptop, so now when my headphones disconnect, they say

"Nate Walsh: lost"

like, that's just one man's opinion, man

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

"in many ways, I'm actually straighter than y'all"

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

I was hanging w/ these nice bros at the Cosmo lobby bar, and I said I was low-key offended that the bar's many varied escorts never saw me as a mark, and they went, "oh, we just assumed you were super gay"

no god damn it

I like women SO much I want to DRESS LIKE THEM

OBVIOUSLY

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

listen

all of you need to reinstall Foursquare and respond to my friend requests

this is how I anchor myself to reality, all right

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

k I live in Oakland again now

now what

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

OK but did anyone consider that Pitbull might have been a secret genius this entire time??

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

@donotine I honestly still can't tell

but I will say

Rob Thomas gets that "Bright Lights" should be the closing number

which means he gets the point of Matchbox 20

which you'd hope would be the case

but still

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

tonight we try to determine once and for all

whether I Matchbox 20 earnestly or ironically

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

@LoadShoota I kind of learned my lesson the one time

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

well

here we go into Séance Tiktok

see you never

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

holy hell

I cannot BELIEVE I almost forgot the absolute best part about living here

I now get to play

Sheryl Crow's

"Leaving Las Vegas"

as much as I want

for the next, like, goddamn MONTH

I made a PowerPoint slide about this shit 7 YEARS AGO

https://t.co/zl4guVE8ft

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

here is that previous tweet as a PowerPoint slide

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

is it worth $12/month forever for my own imdb page?

featuring my role as Enthusiastic Concert Attendee (uncredited) in 2006 rom-com flop /The Break-Up/

I'd need headshots. . . .

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

umm how did I not know Elli and I were featured on Popsugar's best HP cosplay of LeakyCon 2016?

lolololll talk about a Hogwarts Legacy

https://t.co/OGEtwdaXqT

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

for what it's worth, I never Notify Anyway

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

"hello WebMD? I'd like to suggest a symptom for your mania page?"

😖

[Nate Walsh @whateverdude]

~ eyes gently flutter open ~

yawn! perhaps today will be a good day actually

~ "Daughters" by John Mayer starts playing in head ~

oh I see