i once heard someone say “if there are 12 Nazis in a room and they ask you to have dinner with them and you agree, then there are 13 Nazis in that room” and i think a lot of people fundamentally don’t understand that. but it’s 100% true.
So my dad has been ending every phone call with "stay dangerous" instead of "goodbye" for like six months now. We all thought he was just being a weird dad. Turns out he's been mishearing the ending of a podcast he listens to. The host says "stay curious" but my dad is slightly deaf in one ear. He's been going around telling his coworkers, my grandmother, and apparently his DOCTOR to "stay dangerous" this entire time. My mom only found out because his doctor called to check if everything was okay at home. My dad has now decided he likes his version better and refuses to stop. Yesterday he told a nun to stay dangerous.
today I did the hardest, scariest hike of my life and now I'm drinking vodka in a hammock next to a lake in Grand Teton National Park - this might be the best day ever
There's no better case for socialism than the world's first trillionaire being a massive loser who cosplays as his mom and baby online and lies about being good at video games in an attempt to give his life meaning.
when someone asks me to go out and i say yes without thinking about my crippling savings account because time is meant to be wasted with friends and money is meant to be spent and the world is meant to be experienced and life is meant to be lived
me when my friends are having a bad day: that’s your anxiety talking. i promise it won’t always feel like this and I love you no matter what
me when i have a bad day: this time i have finally realized the Truth. that i am bad and my life will never get better