Alłison

You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

Mom: “Papaw always said that coke a cola made everything better.”

Me: “He also died of diabetes.”

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

@instagram You know what’s wild? Banning people’s profiles and having no customer support.

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

@instagram suspended my account for no reason so now I'm here boycotting meta

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

If Adam and Eve were made as adults... what was their reaction when they had a baby? Did they think it wasn’t finished growing? Who told them to support the head?

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

A positive side to the Coronavirus: there haven’t been any school shootings

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

Quarantine checklist:
I've worn the same outfit multiple days in a row.
I thought I had the Corona. I didn't.
My car has been on F for a whole 3 weeks.
Myself has been on E for a whole 3 weeks.
I only talked to myself twice.
And I only answered myself once.
#covid19

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

2020 has basically been season 8 of the office @theofficenbc

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

When history repeats itself #Covid_19

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

@Thesupercole Zombie

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

A twelve year old just asked me if I’ve seen a certain TikTok and proceeded to show me an iconic vine that was shared on TikTok.. #whathasthisworldcometo

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone except for those people who come up with those insane perfume commercials

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

That show 90 Day Fiancé has nothing on Snowbird’s day 40 rule

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

“I hope I can marry a man who can fart like that” -Megan

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

People who print and frame photos with Snapchat filters are a different breed of human

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

I had a dream that I was at someone’s house and I asked them where their Christmas tree was..

They said “oh we don’t have a Christmas tree, we have a cabbage tree.”

I kid you not, it was a giant pyramid of cabbage with Christmas lights

I woke myself up from laughing so hard

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

@stickermule Holographic stickers!

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

@andrewdutton55 @SEC *?!

[Autumn Smith @autumnn_smith24]

Sharpay starred in 17 school productions and then Gabriella just shows up and takes it all away from her but she gets painted as the bad guy. #JusticeForSharpay

[Alłison @whatthedutton]

@hollylin_ @SnowbirdSWO Dance *bad for me