Kyle Faulkner

Living my life at a rate of 60 seconds per minute.

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

@ClaySmeezy Been hitting the scene like that since Halloween ‘09

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Just when you think your confidence is peaking you go through a full day without anyone noticing your haircut.

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Haven’t tweeted for 16 months. Haven’t had to study for 7 months.
Had to s/o @chancetherapper for getting me through a long day of hitting the books and making me dream of moving back to Chicago

[Mizzou @Mizzou]

First pitch from a future @MizzouBaseball player?! (He already has the jersey.)Thanks to #TigerOT for making Hunter's dream to play baseball come true 😎 ⚾

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Only returning to twitter so the world can see a post-headbutt 2towel tommy in all of his glory. @Schmitthappns

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

I'm pretty sure those cheap brown paper towels in public bathrooms make your hands more wet.

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

It's November 1st and I just saw a Christmas themed commercial. No respect for good ole Thanksgiving these days.

[Mizzou Disability Coalition @MizDisability]

250 people have already signed our Disability Studies Petition! Our end of the week goal is 500, help us get there? https://t.co/IswO1ihYhr

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Take 9 seconds to sign this and I will reimburse you for time, data plan, and physical energy that it takes to click and type. #ThxFam https://t.co/nUTZ0rOm5k

[Mizzou Disability Coalition @MizDisability]

Interested in having a Disability Studies Certificate Program at @Mizzou? Sign this petition!!! https://t.co/IswO1i0npT

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

If you're near Speaker's Circle today get some ice cream of the future to support @MizzouUnity do some cool things!

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

CBS dropping more nonsense: "Houston's zoo is the 10th most visited zoo in the US."
Really stretching with these stats
#TopTenZoos

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

CBS just called Kevin James the king of comedy. Generous.. Very generous. #PaulBlart

[College GameDay @CollegeGameDay]

The chicken mask makes this creepy

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Heavy stuff here. I wonder if footage like this could even make Trump feel human. https://t.co/f2iLzrywqc

[CNN @CNN]

His name is Omran. The heartbreaking image that brought @KateBolduan to tears https://t.co/Mlg2f13Pw1 https://t.co/MMAV3jNinu

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Stick it to the man, man https://t.co/P36AR8i8xs

[CNN @CNN]

So, you just won a gold medal. Congrats! Now, here's your tax bill. https://t.co/pT11WxSFUg #Rio2016 #CNNRio

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

Ok girl with angelic voice playing piano for nationwide commercials, I see you.

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

I'm gonna start walking around the bar like I'm the overly comfortable, gray haired, 60-yr-old gymnastics coach of every girl there

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

If you put ambient piano music to any high quality video, it'll seem cool.

[Kyle Faulkner @whatthefaulkner]

When everyone's talking about the upcoming banger in Olympic village but you didn't get the invite