April Yorke

Going steady with Jesus, reffing derby, watching movies.

[Arjun Krishna @TheOneAndArjun]

If @elonmusk had stayed in Canada he'd be a middle manager at RBC who goes on a 6 week canoe trip in Algonquin park every year

[whis_pea @whis_pea]

[inventing Canada geese] what if bagpipes could fly

[GaiusDeer @FE, CFz, FurEh, Aurawra @GaiusGuy]

@matttomic IT WORKS

[cats with jobs 🛠 @CatWorkers]

Trainee hypnotist.

[jolene of arc @okaypompeii]

me applying for a new job:

[erika @yeeeerika]

what is a crockpot if not an electric cauldron?

[meghan @deloisivete]

This lunch pairs well with watching 9 minutes of a tv show

[Craig Baird - Canadian History Ehx @CraigBaird]

Canada‘s Moo Deng

[smol silly cat @Catsillyness]

Work drama

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

Fun fact: my dad was part of the Ashley Madison leak but he hasn’t been married for decades which means he was just on there for the love of the game

[Andrew Rousso @AndrewRousso]

when you triple check an email before sending

[єℓαιηє @elainesim28]

My daughter told me there is a small get together at school on Friday.
I asked her, "How small?"
She replied,
"Just you, me, and the principal.

[Princess @themultiplemom]

I left my wallet in the car and asked my 9yo if I could borrow $3. He gone say “look at me carrying this family on my back”.

Boy…💀💀💀💀

[m. @_ctrlmj]

Michael Ealy needs to be investigated fr cause he plays crazy way too well and has for a long time

[communist captain obvious 🍉 @pippercorn]

4 year old has a new bit where he pretends to have a fatal scooter accident. it’s very funny but the other patrons of the farmer’s market seemed alarmed

[a🇹🇹 @annablake]

Ik my parents HATE to see me bringing common sense to a conversation

[Natasha Hodgson @NatashaHodgson]

I finally did it, I asked a man on the tube who was watching football out loud on his phone “got any headphones mate?” AND HE IMMEDIATELY APOLOGISED AND MUTED IT - I am the dragon I am the ball I am the z

[Nikki🐸 @nikkineups]

museums should be open till like midnight, i don't want to go to the club i wanna go look at art or fossils