Meredith X

ADHD. Former roller derby player turned professional corgi wrangler and apostate.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

When a family member (by marriage) accidentally blurts how they slapped a five-year-old to take their mind off of removing a large bandaid. I mean… what?!

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

The biggest difference between choices and decisions is this: Choices are f*king around, and decisions are the conclusions drawn after you find out.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

I am pretty convinced that Stanley Cups are the Furbies for the modern-day mid-life crisis.😆

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Hey, I’m tryin’ my best, too!

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

@JordyJordiJorde Great point and appreciate your insight! Yeah, it would be $59k as a project manager/process/implementation manager for two softwares they just invested in… on top of backfilling for buying since they don’t have a purchasing agent. Seems like a lot for only $59k.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

If someone offered you, an unemployed person, $30k less than your last salary, as that’s what they found in researching your market value, would you take it?

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Dear @Starbucks , I don’t believe we need help in “greasing” the pipes. But espresso + olive oil?!? Dear God… bidet sales are about to soar!

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

It’s as if corporations are trying to create a facade of growth where there is none.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

I would LOVE to know how 2024 job openings in the USA are measured. Especially since, as a job seeker, I’ve losing track of how many daily opportunities I find that are “open” on LinkedIn or Indeed, yet IRL, they’re closed or nonexistent on the company website.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Why yes, I refer to them as Peter Pablo, Trader Joseph’s, Ariana Supreme Deluxe, The Walmarts, Elon Scent, and Madame Gaga as a sign that I have matured in my old age.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

QOTD: “So, he drinks a glass of milk daily wherever he goes and never eats the pizza crust?! What is he?? The guy from No Country for Old Men?!”

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

If you knew that you may only have a few weeks left with a loved one before they pass- - What would you do? How would you spend that time?

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

I never really understood how people can have road rage… and then I lost internet service this morning.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

My in-law was just discharged to hospice care, and it has triggered me to completely deconstruct what I used to believe in regarding death and dying.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Talking to the hubs about couples Halloween costume ideas and I think I have settled on the best one yet! Have him dress up as Orville Peck and I’ll dress up as Trixie Mattel!! I’m ready for all the cosmic cowboy, tease it to Jesus, fringe, twang, and sass! 😍

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

My partner prides in the fact that he went to the same high school as Adam Driver. 🤣 I wonder if it’s due to the reduced price Mayo packets.

[Katie Rife @RifewithKatie]

Adam Driver is back in the news, which means it is my sacred duty to repost that time he was in the local newspaper protesting the price of mayo packets.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

If purse Tylenol and car tweezers make you old, then I’ve been a Golden Girl qualifying for AARP since I was 18.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Side note: I do feel bad for the missionaries any time I visit with them. I always hand them snacks or bottled water when I can as it’s rough to tract anywhere. All jokes aside, I will always feel extraordinary compassion for what they’re asked to do.

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Jokingly telling the LDS missionaries, “As jurors, you are not to be swayed by equality. Also, word of advice: keep your own counsel; it helps to not impose your truths publicly. And may the record reflect to the Mish Prez that I’d like my house to be “dusted,” please, and TY! 😆

[Meredith X @wheresxmeredith]

Oh man, I had the craziest vivid dream/nightmare last night and I woke up at 3 a.m. scared and drenched in sweat. Here’s to hoping tonight isn’t a repeat. I swear, this upcoming super blue moon already has a hold on me!