Whitney

writer, tattoo addict, coffee connoisseur, Bobby Fischer of Friends trivia, type 1 diabetic, serial comma defender, and makeup addict. I will always have gum.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

my boyfriend answers the phone by saying "Hi" and not "Hello?". I officially live with a psychopath.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@ThatKevinSmith But @ThatKevinSmith you favourited one of my tweets when I was in my 20s and I still talk about it (I’m 32 now) so thanks. And thanks for so many laughs in my life when so desperately needed.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

😭 me crying because I am a lifelong @ThatKevinSmith fan and just learned he’s coming Sept 8 but this time, for the first time, I can’t go.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

Since @ThatKevinSmith talks so much about what movies meant to him and his dad, it seems there is weird poetic justice that I can’t attend this event for this reason.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@googlesearchc Next step: ask real people to write for more than "exposure"

[Whitney @whit_ney]

Rewatching Clerks 2 for the millionth time only now I'm 30 and feel personally attacked Randal is supposed to be 32 in this movie... @ThatKevinSmith

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@USPSHelp tracking says my address is wrong and I can't get my package? Can you help? Just want to correct this and your website was not helpful...

[Mark Cuban @mcuban]

Please help us spread the word. We WONT SPEND A NICKEL ON MARKETING. WE COMPLETELY RELY ON WORD OF MOUTH This allows us to price at such low prices. So all help is welcome from everyone and anyone !

[Mark Cuban @mcuban]

Are you shitting me ? @costplusdrugs fighting inflation and cutting our prices again ? Yes we are !

[Whitney @whit_ney]

Oh hi, just here to announce in addition to being a writer I'm now in the midst of my graphic design education because comms and marketing professionals have to know how to do it all now 🙃

[Whitney @whit_ney]

2 weeks to Vegas, oh fuck yeah.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@theDarcyMichael Team pour over. You can even get reusable filters. Also team “go out for coffee like an entitled millennial”

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@AmazonHelp It was delivered by Amazon

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@AmazonHelp the photo you provided of my package that you left at my door is great! But it’s not my door so…can you either refund me or re-send my stuff?

[Whitney @whit_ney]

Yo, this hits on another level

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@CanadasLifeline 4. But I have since been diagnosed a T1 diabetic and am unable to donate so I bug all my friends to go instead!

[Whitney @whit_ney]

@FedExCanada you were supposed to deliver my package yesterday and just...didn’t? Then today said I was not available when I was home ALL DAY LONG. Can you just deliver my stuff when you say you will? C’mon.

[Whitney @whit_ney]

Shoutout to @lawandordertv for bringing EO back on the Thursday of a long weekend. I will need the time to recover. #lawandorderorganizedcrime #LawAndOrderOC

[Whitney @whit_ney]

I’m going to need @bradmondonyc to release some merch that says “bleach doesn’t lather” kthx

[Whitney @whit_ney]

Serious question: is there anything better than a brand new 2XL hoodie? I don’t care what size you typically wear, give me oversized sweatshirts or give me death!