whit lynette

✨ she’s like the girl of your dreams but better, she’s real✨

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

.@GovParsonMO, please do not let Missouri execute
@innonence @the_MIP client #MarcellusWilliams, an innocent person — where there is overwhelming evidence that his trial was constitutionally unfair — on 9/24. https://t.co/18b4AdO1mz

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

@NPR I need a @RoyelOtis tiny desk on my big desk by 9!!!!!!!

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

Old navy I’m scared

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

I carry proof that I dress cute when I’m wearing just jeans and a tee so pls don’t hesitate to ask ty

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

Happy new bridgerton day!!

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

“What are you wearing to Texas Roadhouse and don’t say ‘this’”

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

If you don’t fw leftovers?? I do NOT fw you

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

I accidentally went to the self check out at schnucks with 14 items. They brought me in the back and had the guy working the deli counter take off a finger. Learn from my mistakes I beg of you stl

[W. Kamau Bell @wkamaubell]

As a comic who also "pushes boundaries" part of the deal getting pushback. If you don't want pushback then don't "push boundaries".

Also the boundaries of "jokes" on native Chinese ppl not speaking English well were already pushed by comics when TV's only came in black & white.

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

“I’m pro-life but…” Ope! That’s pro-choice babe!

[Tara ⚢ @bundleofstyx_]

@NICKIMINAJ you’re a 40 year old woman responding with middle school insults to defend your pedophile husband her foot might be bad but it doesn’t stop your bf from being arrested if he goes within 500 feet of a school

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

“I hope this email finds you well”

Me:

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

Stop asking who’s the boy and who’s the girl in the relationship. It’s who’s the one who looks at their feet and who’s the one who smiles at strangers

[trish @ultragloss]

him: are you stupid
me:

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

The feminine urge to get revenge on every man I’ve ever come in contact with

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

The on the spectrum in me recognizes the on the spectrum in you

[2000s @PopCulture2000s]

yeah i think about the roman empire daily

[MILF @bvcon_dreamz]

“i’ll call you back I gotta go talk to this really hot girl”

-Whit

[whit lynette @whitscraft]

@bvcon_dreamz LMAOO