WHITE LIGHTNING

Left foot forward

[Projection Sports by Tyler Markley @ProjSports]

It was at this moment Nate MacKinnon decided he’d put Hughes and Boldy through the boards if he saw them in playoffs

[Bobby Wagner @bwags]

sports in the streaming era are so cool. is it easier to find? no. is the broadcast weirdly dark and gray? yes. is the connection more reliable? definitely not. it must be cheaper then? also no

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

RFK Jr: "A Democratic senator claimed it's mathematically impossible to have a drug drop by 600%. I said, 'Well, if the drug was $100 and it raises to $600, that would be a 600% rise. If it drops from $600 to $100, that's a 600% savings.'"

Trump: "Right"

[Translate Things @TranslateThings]

FUN FACT: If you study the History of Ancient Egypt at university, the only job prospect you have is teaching others the History of Ancient Egypt. It's the original pyramid scheme.

[taoki @justalexoki]

evergreen tweet

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

DEAR MR. TRUMP,

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING YOUR APPLICATION TO THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE COMMITTEE. WHILE WE REVIEW YOUR "LIVING IN HELL" STATEMENT OF LOVE AND PEACE, WE SUGGEST YOU APPLY TO THE INTERNATIONAL COURT AT THE HAGUE. YOU ARE EXACTLY WHO THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

[NoelCaslerComedy @caslernoel]

Y’all are acting like you’ve never seen a 79 year-old sexual predator wake up on Easter Morning, snort some Adderall and insult the world’s 2 billion Muslims while threatening war crimes against a country he illegally attacked to distract you from ‘Epstein Files’ before?

[Gainfully Employed Robot @Jube02]

Started/Going

[lindsey ok @lindseyyok]

I can’t wait til the 2032 matchup between the Panthers and Titans in Antarctica that we will have to stream from Blooply+ at 6:14am ET

[jenny lewis @jennylewis]

i’ll teach you how to do an
australian accent.
say this out loud exactly as it’s written
have you bean to spice lightly

[New Left EViews @NewLeftEViews]

Literally no one serious ever thought it was stupid.

[Devin Cooley @devinjcooley]

#letgoaliesshowalittlebitofemotionsometimes

[Hayden @the_transit_guy]

The third-busiest domestic air route is Atlanta to Orlando. If high-speed rail connected the two, it could link them in 3 hours via Jacksonville, shorter than current TSA wait times. Just saying.

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

co-founder of the American Conservative magazine has gone so far around the bend over the Iran war that he’s BlueAnon now

[Andrew Day @AKDay89]

At this rate the Trump administration will release the full unredacted Epstein files to distract from Iran.

[Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood]

@OfTheBraveUSA How are you this fucking gullible @joerogan Jesus Christ, he’s been a con man for 50 years

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

He will never stop believing, and saying, that asylum-seekers come from literal mental asylums - no matter how many times he is mocked for saying so, or corrected behind the scenes.
We live in Idiocracy.

[Ben Stiller @BenStiller]

Hey White House, please remove the Tropic Thunder clip. We never gave you permission and have no interest in being a part of your propaganda machine. War is not a movie.