billy bob

I like pie and tuna salad

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

big on stolen valor @betsy0420543092

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Freshie fresh outa the wazoo

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Bedding tucked tighter than a drag queen

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Changing my profile pic on insta — same dress basically same location but a year apart

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Coming back to the suite when no one’s home feels like that time in second grade when I was dropped off at my babysitters house and no one was there

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Why tf would you walk up to me as I’m rippin bong, smoking a cigarette, and say you know my sister

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Watch a Netflix trailer then you won’t actually have to watch the show

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

@lesley_23465 Sooo good every time

[Lesley @lesley_23465]

i’m gonna marry a mechanic or a painter

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

@margotaj867 I want a story time soon

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

@ben19075510 Till they get asked if they’re wearing capris

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

@margotaj867 Exactly

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

What goes on between a man’s legs, like he has to have a vagina, everyone does

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Yesterday after recovering from a bee sting a little girl named Adaline asked, “Who pollinated the plants for the dinosaurs?”

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Blame @holst_colin55 why my tweets are falling off

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

@ben19075510 If I was a man I would TOTALLY do this

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

@margotaj867 I really liked this

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Running into the Walmart employee who caught you shoplifting four days ago and ur now carrying a 36 pack of ultra thin condoms

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

If you’re too active on twitter the quality per tweet starts to decline. Rise over run type shit

[billy bob @whosbillybobby]

Sometimes I forget that in hs I was a lacrosse goalie for like two years with split dye blue hair, and I was ass. Never regretted it tho, either part.