newt shrine

dreaze magnet wickie, pygmy quilt spitter, certified oni scavenger, treetop lunar dungeon keeper, a stilted man’s hickie

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

He called himself a “pussy abolitionist whose about to go on sabbatical” 🤨 I says “I’m something of an altruist myself” then danced on his grave.

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Manosphere: The Hands of Tate

[birdbath @birdbath]

"Dad why is my sister named Rose?"
"Your mother loves roses"
"Thanks Dad"
"No problem, Version Of Your Father Before He Started Drinking. Now you, Rose & True Detective Season 1 go distract security while daddy stuffs sudafed down his dungarees. I'm making Aryan peptides tonight"

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Just found my market crap on the latrine.

Bubbles, bubbles, will ye burst

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

I’m starting to think Greeks are just Italians in denial

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Sci-fi museum where you are strung up in bungee cords and literally everything/everyone happens to you in like 20 seconds, almost big bang.

Investor: What’s the long term scale of your museum? Um I mean on average you give birth to around 21 babies but you behead like 25ish? 🤨

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

presbyterian sounds sweaty as shit

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Champagne for my real friends, sham pain for my—FUCK!!

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Just shivered while pissing.

I inspected the pot.

Could this be my grave?

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Thanks for the laugh, Sharon Osbourne. I really needed it today.

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

I told God I was ready and He just sent me an invoice

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Put your respect back in the dog bowl it came from

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

*Hands shaking* This is Web3 celibacy.

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

brodie just turned my spine into a prayer wheel good lord

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

So not to get personal on main but I astral projected mid-handjob last night and now I’m legally married to the concept of entropy

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Think it’s time to declare war on Missouri

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

He said “I’m more of a vibes based executioner,” and I said “that’s cute, I filed your soul under misc.”

Then I kissed his third eye and repo’d his dick chakra.

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Stay away from her, Elon.

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

Sitting in the chair watching the war go down on my bed like a conscientious observer

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

You’re gonna be screaming the status quo until the cows come home and I won’t sleep till that twink is in a wheelchair.

You were raised feeding from a silver platitude and I just took out a mortgage on his poon pagoda

There’s two sides to every coin capeesh?

[newt shrine @whosplitheavens]

🇦🇺 Christian Furry Male✝️🐺🚹 Tax Accountant Promise Not Pride 🌈 Gamer 🎮 Part time Piano Player #ProLife 33 #Straight