Sunshine&Showers

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[Max @welp_max]

he’s dead ass modern day Diana

[Supriya Ganesh @SupriyaGanesh]

HELLOOOOOO @JoeBiden @BarackObama @MichelleObama @ZohranKMamdani

[Serf @TheRoyalSerf]

We'll get our revenge during Thanksgiving

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

i just love when you look at your cat & you can tell they just woke up because they have bedhead but the bedhead is their entire body

[kat @yslnadi]

Realizing corporate life requires an ass licking skillset I was simply not born with

[liz @normalfunnygirl]

Who wants to get DRUNK in the SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA with me this Summer

[͏ ‏ً @Motee_1]

they asked me why i took my laptop to the toilet, i said type shit

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

Watching the World Cup has me asking questions. Do Europeans get issued 8 weeks of vacation, unlimited airline miles, and a trust fund at birth? Because every match I turn on there are 40,000 fans following their team to a different state or country on a Tuesday afternoon while Americans are hiding in a work bathroom checking scores.

[seth @kappyland]

having two boy cats is kinda like having your own tom and jerry

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

Cats are like "i'll save some of this food for later" then 5 minutes later they're like "well this is just stale and unacceptable now”

[Ruthy @RuthyVibez]

Can they send Ace in this season of Love Island. Im tired of these islanders. They need a drill sergeant.

[r @tennisbish]

I have a soft spot for Mbappé because he reminds me of Kermit the Frog

[Mar🪼 @marthemurm]

this TOOK ME OUT

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

you're legally required to say "OH big stretch" when a cat or dog stretches, regardless of the actual size of the stretch

[sarah ⚢ @lesbicot]

instead of winter depression does anyone get summer depression and the heat drives you even more crazy

[𝚃 @T_wontmiss]

how it feels to be physically growing older but mentally still a child

[kelli @LagunaBiotchIG]

He’s basically a wag

[sigmahed 🇵🇸 @vibeistani]

I started celebrating with the mexicans cuz i thought they were wearing hamas headbands

[incognito tab #3 @notcrypticno]

IF YOU'RE IN NEW YORK RN GO IN THE JEW TUNNELS AND TELL THEM THE KNICKS WON