concieved in a petri dish

if you don't shape up i'm gonna get into astrology

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

scientists in a lab-controlled setting could not have conceived a more effective combination of factors that make heating my apartment above 61 degrees financial suicide

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

making moves on facebook marketplace previously unknown to science

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

i feel like this all the time...there is strain from my lack of experience in a cruel world...but whimsy and joy for all the possibilities that lie ahead...

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

@alexwesol this is true ❤️

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

smores are up there with the cure for polio when it come to greatest american inventions

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

@alexwesol when have I EVER talked about polio??

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

being employed is a series of elaborate humiliation rituals

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

job searching is a series of elaborate humiliation rituals

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

seeing the regulations get rolled back is extra concerning after spending 3 years realizing that 1 out of 10 farmers would spray anthrax on ur corn if it meant they could get an extra 5 bushels/acre

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

i would describe my current living location kind of like the foothills of west virginia while also being only 1 degree removed from a polycule at any given point

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

boomers in september 2025 be like "you can't buy a house because you keep buying those $21 lattes and that $52 avocado toast"

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

putting low cost apartments on the hudson with a river view in upstate ny is so cruel i've seen 23 boats today

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

i'm putting together a thesis

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

inhaled too many paint fumes and killed the part of my brain that likes listening to podcasts

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

stop TEXTING me about TOLLS i've been BUMMING off OTHER people's cars for 5 YEARS

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

thank god america's future doctors are pocketwatching my spotify activity at 7:48am

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

craig got me a bag of decedent truffles for valentine's day which pales in comparison to what I gave him (food poisoning).

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

noah kahan is kind of beautiful in the way he's like the uncannily late but powerful dying breath of 2010's folk stomp-and-holler

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

exact look i was rocking when i got pulled into a local news street interview that immediately resulted in someone tracking me down on insta and shooting their shot. i can only assume my commentary on icy sidewalks was uniquely moving and insightful

[concieved in a petri dish @whymsic]

mad that a part of my personal and professional brand is going to permanently be "knows a lot about row crop agriculture tech" which is fun and quirky when i'm at a ny bar and totally useless when trying to find a ny job