The First Robyn of Spring

Given the opportunity, I would destroy David Schwimmer in a pudding eating contest.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

What if I told you that there's a place called Schrödinger's Bakery where you can have your cake and eat it, too?

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

Please repost and share to friends and families, this is a great opportunity you wouldn’t want to miss 💯

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

If you're interested in learning crypto you can just give my crypto coach a follow to get started @helen__hawkins

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

I’ve been putting in the work in crypto for a while now, and it’s been paying off. To celebrate, I just copped myself a brand-new Mercedes-Benz! Huge shoutout to my coach @helen__hawkins, for all the guidance and support. Couldn’t have done it without her.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

And now, a gentle reminder that the smell of a freshly mowed lawn is literally the grass screaming.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

Without a doubt, my most formative childhood encounter was walking in on my potty-trained cat crouching on the toilet, mid-release. (I haven’t made direct eye contact with a cat since.)

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Anyone who used a computer between 1985-2010. What’s the one game you still think about?

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

@TomSnarsky A haiku about eating an entire watermelon in one sitting:

yes yes yes yes yes
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
yes yes yes yes yes

[Oğuz Pancar @opancaro]

Jacobo Borges, Meeting with Red Circle or Circle of Lunatics, 1973

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

And now, a gentle reminder that the smell of a freshly mowed lawn is literally the grass screaming.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

@Eric_T_Racher 🤍

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

I don't think I'll ever be able to talk about my father in the past tense.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

@obscenelydolled TL;DR: Meat Is Murder

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

If you can't fit the entire body of an email into the subject line, don't bother sending it.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

The only thing getting me through the day is hearing the neighborhood cat that sounds like a person's unconvincing imitation of a cat.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

"I'm spiritual but not religious."

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

Sorry I can't make it. I'm too busy adding milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to milk to cereal to

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

It's safe to assume that I have nothing in common spiritually with anyone who stirs halfway through microwaving.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

Gentle Reminder: It takes more muscles to frown than it does to fake your own death and assume the identity of heir to the Miracle Whip fortune.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

If there is any sound more sinister than an ice cream truck playing "Für Elise," I never want to hear it.

[The First Robyn of Spring @whyrobynwhy]

The shebang, I'm thrilled to report, is whole.