if my government kills me just know this:
1.) if even some of us make it out, i will have survived
2.) i knew a better future was within our reach and i expect yall to get there with or without me
3.) i loved sam winchester
when i was 16 i saw fanart of sam winchester as a trans girl for the first time and i got so overwhelmed with delight and excitement i went nuts on tumblr for like an hour just ranting about how cool the idea of my favorite character being trans was. there were signs.
after the initial high wore off i felt embarrassed and basically posted "uh oh am i being weird" and my friends agreed that yes i was. theyre not my friends anymore lmao baby you were NOT being weird you were experiencing transgender euphoria
it was a tiny little thing but it meant the world to me and i dont know if it would have if i hadnt been putting in the work to learn to look for little kind interactions with people i'll never see again. i was stressed and struggling and a stranger was kind to me. it helped.
i saw a tweet last year that was like "i know a lot of misanthropes who actually like individual people on a personal level and i know a lot of humanists who cant stand most people they talk to" and i have not stopped thinking about it since
the week after my dad died i was running delivery and had to pick up a MASSIVE order from a wings place. when i went to leave, an older lady saw me struggling to free up one of my hands and walked across the restaurant to open the door for me.
im PRETTY sure it's a pileated but ive never been able to get close enough to get a good look at its crest, i will try to get a picture this year if i can