I always think the deepest wound CPTSD leaves is the one that says you are fundamentally too much and not enough at the exact same time. Too emotional but also too closed off. Too needy but also too independent. Too sensitive but also too guarded. The impossible standard of someone who was never allowed to just be human.
TRAUMA IS WILD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMEONE CAN DISSOCIATE SO DEEPLY DURING SURVIVAL MODE THAT THEY CANNOT REMEMBER LARGE PARTS OF THEIR LIFE?
THAT SOME MEMORIES ONLY COME BACK WHEN SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONS THEM FIRST?
THAT ENTIRE YEARS CAN FEEL BLURRY, DISTANT, OR MISSING ALTOGETHER?
obsession taught me lots of men think rape is only when a man forces himself on a woman, they aren't educated enough or don't care enough to admit there are many ways men commit rape, taking away someone's autonomy for your own pleasure is rape, bear raped nikki, no ifs or buts
A symptom of childhood trauma no one talks about is wanting someone to come save you. Despite the independence you have, you are constantly waiting for someone to rescue you because as a child no one did. You were too young to know what to do, you wanted to be protected and you still do.
“But you survived” NO I disassociate, like A LOT. My heart drops when someone raises their voice. I shut down very easily. And I'm far too observant. I always feel like a burden. I isolate often. But yeah, sure, I guess I survived.
critiquing this monologue for being entry level feminism is fair but i continue to believe that’s the exact point, and this for the ten year old girls in the audience who haven’t learnt this yet. it’s to take the weight of their tiny shoulders for the first time. that’s a nice thing
Autistic people be like "my trauma wasn't THAT bad" when they have literally been feeling all alone in this world whilst surrounded by people since they were 4 years old
This is why y'all didn't get the man vs bear debate. Bears will maul you to death at the most. Men will force you to be a slave to their desires and rape you till you wished you could die and then they act like victims when you want freedom. Men don't think of rape as torture.
yes. and there’s also a correlation between survival mode and not wanting to dress well, adorn yourself, do self care, do your hair, nourish yourself. you just don’t have energy to care about beauty and sensuality because your nervous system is busy keeping you safe.