nakedbigfoot

Hate guns, hate cars

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Weather update: I haven’t worn jeans in a bit

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

When old people walk into a coffee shop and say “I just want coffee 🤷‍♂️.” Hey I have a bomb. Stfu and order like everyone else

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

The internet at hospitals being called “captive wifi” is definitely sending the wrong message to your newly arrived patients

[Sam Neill @TwoPaddocks]

Yes, I know things can look a little glum at present. But , for now cheer up. From us.

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

@borgirqing You have no joy or whimsy in your life, it must be sad to live in your shoes

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

I’m very anal about what I put my butt on

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Through my extensive research of driving back and forth between WI and MI. I can confidently say Indiana drivers are the worst breed of sociopaths to ever be let loose on the road. In this essay I will…

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Feeling suicidal in the museum of natural history 😙

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Was shopping in the Walmart shoe isle and this lady comes down and instantly says “WOAH” real loud at me. I look around wondering she’s commenting on me or the shoes. But she’s already out of the isle before i could react. I will be thinking about her for the rest of the day

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

None of you are on the trans technical director for theatre side of TikTok and it shows

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

You ever look at someone else fridge and just like admire at how gross they let it get? Like brother you store food in here. You sure you want to put your butter next to that ominous brown stain that’s been there for years?

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

It is always at the brewing comp restaurants that old men find the oddest positions possible to piss into a urinal

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Man in front of me in the line for the dispo is chatting up the budtender about how 60% of the the bees in Michigan died this winter. She seems real interested, keep going bro it’s definitely working

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Why is every bar urinal a zin receptacle now? Have we just lost all class as a society

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Sometimes a child learns they can perfectly recreate a meme sound and they will make it their whole personality for at least a week

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Kid on the train told her brother he needs to say sorry for smelling so bad

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Someone better start giving me head underneath this tech table or I swear imma shoot through all these light cues so I can go home early

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

I might not have enough spit for these Tesla hoods

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

Loading file.killingmysef

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

@lighttemple That’s actually fucked up, they want you to kys. You’re in my prayers tho king 🙏

[nakedbigfoot @wienerbutt69]

@lighttemple 800-273-8255