Sarcasm&Sass

I believe in kissing my sailor like he deploys tomorrow. This is my crazy life as a mom of twins plus one

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Not sure what’s more frustrating the over tired baby fighting sleep or my husband “not snoring” loudly next to me.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

@emmakateplum They all had hair but not a crazy amount

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

The saddest part of leaving San Diego will be losing this babysitter. She cleans my house!

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

It’s now almost 8:30 and my kitchen mats still aren’t here.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

I had one item get lost in transit and another that was suppose to be delievered by 8pm tonight and still isn’t here

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

I have obsessively ordered things off amazon since the twins were babies and never had any issues until recently

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Spent the morning thinking I had to be at the event at 9 so I thought I was running late. Got there and realized it didn’t start until 9:30

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Don’t mind me. Just running behind schedule like normal.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

It might be in the 90s today but I'm making cinnamon applesauce in the crockpot so at least the house smells like fall.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

@USNbabe You could do a chalk board with her name on it.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

@netflix needs a "my child wants to watch this for the 10,000 time" section.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

One day my house will be clean again. It will probably be the day after our next packout 😹

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

I'm so over all this bullshit with trying to find a babysitter.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Today on #WhyMyToddlerIsCrying
I locked the bathroom door so I could poop without being touched.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

@USNbabe I read an article about how these events happen in groups because seeing the attention gives others the motivation to do it.

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Apparently we are boycotting sleep tonight 😭

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Naturally ian would send me a text saying we are over budget a minute before a rock cracks my windshield

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

Motherhood involves a lot more poop than I imagined

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

@MommaLarJ I actually do this more often then I will admit

[Sarcasm&Sass @WifeWithTwins]

But where has all this stuff come from? We've made 2 pretty big donations and still have so much stuff.