Lauren Ashley

Reader. Writer. Strategist. Dive Bar Connoisseur. Optimistic Cynic. Bad Feminist. Forever Jersey Girl. She/Her.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

In continued mishaps with AI, I accidentally awakened 'Siri' and muttered, "Fuck off, Siri..."—as one does. Before I could exit, she dutifully answered, "I will not respond to that." Guessing I'll be among the first to go when Skynet finally comes online.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

Sleeping at a friend’s; whispered for Alexa to turn off the light, she whispered back and… immediately no.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@DrunkScribe Obviously.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@clhubes I can't wait.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

My sweet and sometimes naive British husband just informed me that the US is unliveable. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN TRYING TO TELL HIM FOR EIGHT YEARS, Y'ALL.

Still, can't wait to arrive THIS WEEKEND!

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@ItsJesse18 @Caporuscio_Jack I love that you said 'yet'. I also don't watch yet, but it feels inevitable.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@AlanFarnes We went on this roller coaster of rediscovering what he looks like just yesterday! Wild! Best he’s looked in years—a compliment to you!

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@maiaroseperry Lol WHY. I’m a simple gal.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

I love ketchup, not enough to put it on my eggs or mashed potatoes, but enough that your in-house/artisan/homemade crap will ruin my meal. Give me the chemicals and no one gets hurt.

[📸 @SierraChas]

I saw somewhere earlier “Go be your favorite self”

We are used to “higher” or “best”

But “favorite” leaves room for Grace.
I’m going to be the version of myself that I like right now in this moment.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

Are you even besties if you don't have a plan to disappear off the grid together?

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@miragonz Protect this man—we stan.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

If there’s any question about the state of my mind, it took me a week to realise my credit card was missing and another week to find it stuck to the bottom of a frozen bag of veg. Happy holidays?

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@DanWuori New Jerseyan living in Vietnam (with a sweet seven month old)

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

Anyone else happen across a deep-seated, 30-year-old trauma upon listening to ‘How Am I Supposed to Live Without You’? Thanks, Saved by the Bell.

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@NooPuddles Not trolling, but honestly? Exercise. (AND Magnesium. AND B12.)

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@DrunkScribe You’ve (unknowingly) been there for us in hollow times. Hope we can return the favour x

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@DrunkScribe We're fond of ya either way ;)

[Thing Bad @Merman_Melville]

kind of a bummer to have been born at the very end of the Fuck Around century just to live the rest of my life in the Find Out century

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

The US is one of six countries in the WORLD that doesn’t have a paid parental leave plan. I’m not ready and have almost had six months—have I mentioned lately what a joke I think the US is?

[Katelyn Cohen @kateecohen]

Join Glamour and Paid Leave for All by adding your name to this letter to demand the government finally commit to passing paid leave, and giving all working people the right to care for their families without losing a paycheck. https://t.co/5SUExJO42z?

[Lauren Ashley @wildafterall]

@DrunkScribe The limit does not exist.