Evan Wildstein

Dad. Author. Nonprofiteer™️. Opinions unabashedly mine.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@chris_herd Will see you, and raise you:

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

The President will be taking a bathroom break from 3:15-4:45pm ET.

#ThingsPeteHegsethTextedMe

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

Today I made a huge mistake with our child in the car. Against all the known logic in the world, I stopped the vehicle completely at a red light. What ensued was a horrific, completely unavoidable, predictable toddler meltdown. Parents, learn from me. Do better, be better.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

When childless people in their 20s and 30s tell me they’re tired, I’m like, yeah you probably are. These are exhausting times. Hydrate and have a nap.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

We absolutely adore your baby and toddler clothes, @BurtsBees. But the placement of these poop-looking nut designs near the butt was… hilarious?

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

Y’all gotta put baby changing tables in the men’s rooms, @Cheesecake. Some of us dads do that whole “caring for babies” thang.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

I beg you, @HomeGoods, stop with the impossible price stickers. We’ll pay more for regular, easy-to-remove stickers. We’ll pay double. The hours it takes to destroy three fingernails plus a vat of @GooGoneBrand isn’t worth it to save seventy cents on this jar of honey.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@thelauracoates It’s pronounced “Bear” County 😂 But emphasizing the X in “Bexar” is much cooler.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@oakley these have been my trusted running glasses for 28 years. How long is y’all’s warranty? 🥹

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@amandanat Keeping nonprofiteers healthy (emotionally and otherwise) through servant-leadership.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@amandanat Reminds me of these billboards in Texas: Does Marketing Work? Just Did!

Sorry, what?

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@amandanat The “four tooth smile” has a major leg up on the gummy smile. I have spoken.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@ThatChristinaG Seeing Petty was one of the accidentally happiest moments of my life. I could’ve seen Queen and didn’t — big regret.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

Unsure what this is, @ChipotleTweets, but it’s not a burrito.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@Adam_Karpiak “Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about? Please share your logic in a systems thinking model.”

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@amandanat @TurnerNovak As someone barely over 5feet, I still marvel at how much head room is in those autos. It’s like I’m sitting in a camping tent.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@amandanat Acktshually……

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@smerconish it’s gross, not net.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@Smillew_Rahcuef In my 40s; still waiting.

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@amandanat One of my finest contributions to the Internet

[Evan Wildstein @wildevanstein]

@ImKaitlynMeyers Stop dating her.