wiley bennett

hardcore goth and national parks enthusiast

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

White House didn’t disappoint

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

I’m gonna skip having kids and go straight to grandkids

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Chudd Auletta

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Sure @ccauletta might make more money than me and get more bitches but did he win “most witty” in high school? Ya… didn’t think so. Flush yourself down a toilet. Also I beat you in quiplash every time also I beat you in smash bros.

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Can somebody help me rearrange my living room?

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

If I was Tom Hanks I would’ve been fucking Wilson nasty style

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Can’t wait for stanky booty night at the jiggly room

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

@ccauletta I didn’t know Icarus was gay

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Countdown till Disclosure Day

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Made a tier list of every male ever. I share the stage with Doc Holiday, Rusty Ryan, and James Bond (Daniel Craig version).

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

$100,000 or dinner with Hillary Duff

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

4 Korean girlfriends*

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

I don’t want to judge anybody for aspiring for greatness but I believe it’s healthy to set realistic goals as well. For instance, I’m just trying to have 5 Korean girlfriends and also for everyone to get off the road when I’m driving home from work.

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Avicii dropping levels was the 2011 version of Prometheus giving fire to mankind

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

All a man needs is a beanie and skinny jeans and he can take over the world

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Dance dance revolution to like an usher song or sum shi

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

To all my female followers, don’t worry about trying to look good because it’s futile. Hillary Duff exists. Give up it’s pointless.

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

@tubbs127 Fine then I’ll weekend at Bernie’s them

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

I want to do the parent trap with Pat McAfee and Bill Simmons

[wiley bennett @wileybennett21]

Bro how is Hillary Duff hotter now than she’s ever been