willow

“Songs About My Internet Ex-Girlfriend” out now

[willow @will0wthecat]

i just took a nap, woke up at 8 pm and drove to my 9 am shift for TOMORROW. little did i know it was getting darker on my commute because it’s still today. benjamin button ass 🤦‍♂️

[willow @will0wthecat]

Hot girls always be layin on the floor at work for some reason

[willow @will0wthecat]

Shoutout the guy at the airport sandwich shop dressed in a suit and calling out panini order numbers like an 1800s southern auction

[willow @will0wthecat]

Bro wtf is up with commercials and reels of people chewing stuff super loud, the fuck you think I want to see that for

[willow @will0wthecat]

Me walkin into Guitar Center thinkin they’re gonna remember me

[willow @will0wthecat]

Every song is good except that “Ain’t That America” song

[willow @will0wthecat]

People are only ever gonna get 1 bless you from me because after the second one it’s starts to feel like they’re mad at me and themselves and I just don’t like it

[willow @will0wthecat]

That one early 2000s silver Sudan with the black bumper replacement you see everywhere- you think it’s the same guy or different people?

[willow @will0wthecat]

Back in the day I did not have to create a paid account to get a PNG of a meatball wtf is good bro

[willow @will0wthecat]

One of the clients at the clinic I work at today:

“You’re not autistic Mr. Eric, you just work here”

Ah thanks for the clarification buddy😁

[willow @will0wthecat]

Rachel Dolezal concept album

[willow @will0wthecat]

I went on a date with this girl today and she brought me this Ed, Ed, n Eddy lookin-ass drawing of me to the bowling alley and that’s probably the cutest shit that’s ever happened to me

[willow @will0wthecat]

This new woman at work just casually dropping “yeah they almost had me…Scientology…” was not on my bingo card for today l

[willow @will0wthecat]

I’m going to take my brain and put it in a jar and throw it down a flight of stairs

[willow @will0wthecat]

What’s crazy is that no emotion you have can be ignored or blocked out. Everything has to move and continue moving and the parts you don’t like and have left unturned will be exactly where you left them when you decide to visit them again

[willow @will0wthecat]

@steveC227stc No doubt brotha

[willow @will0wthecat]

Any other singers/rappers who can’t stop listening to their own voices because they’ve been shaping them to the point that they have like 7 different voices and they don’t know which one is their real voice anymore? This is Ariana doing this https://t.co/MWGCFFUYHG

[willow @will0wthecat]

Death to 9% IPAS, y’all fucked up

[willow @will0wthecat]

Always too afraid I’m gonna fart if I fall asleep in public

[willow @will0wthecat]

My bosses boss talking to me on the elevator at work on Friday about looking forward to the weekend an I’m like “yeah gotta refuel so we can get back on the horse” 🤦‍♂️

[willow @will0wthecat]

I realized that Kanye doesn’t influence any rap beef because Kanye is beefing with the world, no one actually in particular