William Fibiger

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Will asked yet again for dry cereal in a bowl with a “side (glass) of milk.” Phil said “Buddy, when you go to college your friends are going to say ‘eating cereal that way is weird.’” Will says, “I’ll tell them that cereal in milk is a depreciating asset.”

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

What even in the world is the point of a household with no ice cream?!

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Will in trouble for almost-swearing....
E: you know what concerns me...?
W: you know what concerns me?! That I have a snitch at my school!

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

E: how do you even know how to do that?!?
W: the tricks of a Pokemon master

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Don't even ask me about the depths of my day. There's just so much.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Sidewalks are my number 1 enemy. . . . And tomatoes are my number 2.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Here, Grayson, I'm going to show you how to push this . . . like a man.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

You don't know the life of a six-year-old

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Is Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton's father? / No, her husband. He used to be president too. / So, she watched him and said I can do that.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

W: peanut butter. Ewwwww.
P: you used to like peanut butter!
W: that taste bud fell off.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

No dad, I'm not cold. My body just shivers a lot.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Question: why does Bilbo never go potty in the movie?

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Walks away... "Dad, I'm rolling my eyes at you."

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Thinks of worst possible threat. "If you don't give me a muffin... I'll smoke!"

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Phil is bitten by ant farm escapee. Will: Mom I want you to put me to bed, not Daddy, because I don't want to listen to "ow, ow, ow."

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

"I'm going to pretend to be a never discovered prehistoric species. Guess what I am?"
P & E make guesses.
"No! I'm a jumper killer!"

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

All Ben does is watch Clone Wars. He needs to exercise moderation.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Hey old Ben Kenobi. Do you choose cupcakes or death? I think you choose... death.

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

"I was wrong. Today is not the best day of my life."
"Why?"
"Because today Ben messed with my Legos."

[William Fibiger @willfibiger]

Drops completed Lego vehicle on the floor. Destroyed. "Oh no mom! It's a disastrophy!"