Bill Dayton

Father, music maker, story teller

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

Volume beats talent. Reps beat mood. Doing what you said you’d do beats another plan. The bar is on the floor. Most people still won’t step over it.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

You can quit. Nobody is going to stop you. That’s why most people do.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

Do you remember. The 21st night of September. Yeah. That’s today. The song’s been waiting all year and the country just now noticed. Whole timeline acting like they invented September. I been knowing. I just wasn’t ready.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

You can have the last bite. I’ll pretend I didn’t want it anyway. But I will stare at it first.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

Me at 25: “I’ll never become my parents.”
Me at 45: angrily slaps the dashboard because someone didn’t use their blinker. “UNBELIEVABLE!”

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

The way I crave peace but date women who yell at traffic is honestly poetic.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

Dating in your 40s is just comparing traumas and hoping your kinks align before the meds wear off and your kids come back from grandma’s

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

Wild that Chicago was able to produce a Pope faster than a second Super Bowl win

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@NoContextHumans I'm American and even I wouldn't eat this

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

The back and forth between the @packers and @ChicagoBears at the @NFLDraft has me 🤣💀

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@PeteButtigieg Hope you find Christ, man.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@MilaLovesJoe Well, Mila, since we’re playing the ‘basic biology’ game, let’s break it down. Women don’t ‘produce humans’ alone—biology requires sperm. And who produces sperm? Men. So, by your own logic, men literally produce half of every human. Case closed.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@realDonaldTrump Jesus, I missed your tweets. They either remind me that I’m safer, that the country is healing, or make me laugh my ass off. We’re so back!!

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@matt_jmatt1981 @NotK_US @jjreeves Fucking perfection, this.

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@stonersvilla This man is living in the year 3000

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@MattWallace888 #Maga

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@BrendonLeslie

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

@JasonKelce is my spirit animal 😂

[Bill Dayton @williamdayton]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary